IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

Nowadays, immigration has become an
increasing
Replace the word
increasingly
show examples
 significant issue around the world. It is widely considered that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 every year
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
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 number of people move from one country to another in terms of seeking better job opportunities,
high level
Use the right word
higher-level
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 education, safety and well-being.
While
Linking Words
migration
Use synonyms
 embraces numerous benefits both for
person
Correct article usage
the person
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 and for
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 leads to certain challenges. One of the compelling arguments against
migration
Use synonyms
 is the emotional and psychological
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 faced by individuals.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, when people move abroad, they leave behind their families
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and comfort zones.
Consequently
Linking Words
, more and more immigrants experience homesickness, isolation from society and cultural shock. To illustrate that, many Erasmus students who exchange studies for one semester
initially
Linking Words
 feel excited
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, after a couple
Change preposition
of months
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months
Punctuation problem
months,
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 it is likely that they may start missing their families and close companions and struggle with academic pressure in a foreign country.
As a result
Linking Words
, even though they obtain global experiences, they often witness emotional difficulties during their exchange.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a rise in immigration may cause economic strains and unemployment.
In other words
Linking Words
, when a
wide
Correct word choice
large
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 number of immigrants arrive host country within a short period of time, it is likely that governments are required to allocate special funds,
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 and healthcare for individuals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it leads to increasing government expenditures and shortages of natural resources.
For instance
Linking Words
, the stream of a mounting number of
Ukranian
Correct your spelling
Ukrainian
 migrants in Germany
crated
Use the right word
created
show examples
 financial issues, as the state had to expand households, provide financial
assistances
Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
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 and social support. In conclusion, having argued the downsides of
migration
Use synonyms
 for both individuals and society,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 its drawbacks outweigh its benefits. Mental pressure, financial difficulties, and challenges in adapting to a new culture
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 that
migration
Use synonyms
 may allow more problems than advantages

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task
Balance the view by saying both good and bad of moving to a new country.
structure
Plan with three parts: intro, body, and conclusion.
grammar
Use short and clear sentences to help the reader.
grammar
Fix spelling mistakes and wrong word forms.
content
Give more than one example for each point.
structure
Intro and end are clear.
content
Examples are used to show each point.
coherence
Link words are used to show shifts between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Migrate
  • Immigrant
  • Emigrant
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Expatriate
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Naturalization
  • Work permit
  • Visa
  • Residence
  • Citizenship
  • Deportation
  • Brain drain
  • Demographic
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural shock
  • Social network
What to do next:
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