IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Can't say much about the gap between the rich and the poor and
it's
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its
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 size, I believe that it's all relative. The one thing I'm certain of is that the advances in modern technology make it much
more
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apply
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easier to make a profit even when your skills are rather lacking or you don't have the necessary education for a
high paying
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high-paying
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 job. We have all the tools that can help us make a considerable amount of money available to us in our smartphones, laptops, etc. The single most
powerfull
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powerful
 tool, in my opinion, is AI.
Lets
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Let's
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 take
AI generated
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AI-generated
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 cat videos
for example
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, most people have seen them, some are even addicted to them. Just a few years
ago
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ago,
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 to make
such
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 a video and make it profitable, the creator would have to be a decent animator
,
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apply
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 or a cartoonist
, these
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. These
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 days
you
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, you
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 just enter a prompt
hit
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, hit
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 the "generate" button and
voila
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voila,
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 a cat bartender on a cruise ship serving drinks. Now I don't have
anyting aganst
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anything against
 cat videos, be they
hand drawn
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hand-drawn
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 or
AI generated
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AI-generated
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, the point is that a person without the necessary skills can make twice as much content
than
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as
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 a
proffesional
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professional
 animator,
also
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 much faster. In the future,
howeve
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however
, I think that the gap will grow considerably,
extremely
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apply
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even. Since even today we see that businesses are starting to use AI more
prominantly
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prominently
. If the trend
continues
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continues,
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 I'm afraid that mass layoffs will be a
comonplace occurance
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commonplace occurrence
 around the world. Five more words, there, done.

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task response and structure
The essay has good ideas but it is not put in a clear order. Put one main idea in each paragraph and link it to the task.
task response and structure
Add a short intro and a small close to show your view in the end. Say what you think clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Have two clear body paragraphs: one for the view, one for your own view. Start with a topic sentence and end with a line that links to the next idea.
content and ideas
Give more real life or clear examples to back your point, not just one example.
language use
Check spelling and grammar; use simple, correct sentences.
content strengths
The writer shows a clear personal view.
content strengths
There is an example (AI cat videos) to make a point.
content strengths
The idea that tech can help people make money is clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital divide
  • Socio-economic classes
  • Economic opportunities
  • Democratizes access
  • Technological gadgets
  • Advanced educational tools
  • Remote work
  • Online courses
  • Digital literacy
  • Digital inclusion
  • Underprivileged communities
  • Technological advancements
  • Cutting-edge technologies
  • Economic standing
  • Quality of life
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