IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days a number of people give their personal information with technology companies to gain access to online resources. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In today’s digital era, many individuals willingly share their personal
data
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 with technology
companies
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 to gain access to various online services.
While
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this
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 trend offers certain benefits, I believe the disadvantages are more significant. One of the main advantages of sharing
data
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 is that it allows users to enjoy a wide range of free services.
For example
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, social media platforms
,
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apply
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 and translation apps often require access to users’
data
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 to function effectively.
This
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 enables
companies
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 to improve user experience through
personalized
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personalised
show examples
 recommendations and convenience.
However
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, the disadvantages of
this
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 trend are quite concerning.
Firstly
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, providing personal
data
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 can lead to privacy violations. Many technology
companies
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 collect large amounts of sensitive information,
such
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 as location, contacts, and browsing history, which can be leaked to other people.
Data
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 breaches have become increasingly common, exposing users to identity theft and online scams.
In addition
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,users often have little control over how their
data
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 is used. Once information is shared, it can be sold to advertisers or even governments, raising serious ethical and security issues.
This
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 loss of privacy can make people feel constantly worried and reduce trust in digital platforms. In conclusion,
although
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 sharing personal
data
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 with technology
companies
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 allows for convenience, the potential risks to privacy and
data
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 security are far greater.
Therefore
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, I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

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Task response
You answer the task and take a clear side. To get a higher score, add more strong points and more real examples for both sides, and show how the ideas link.
Task response
Give more facts about how data is used and the harm to trust.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the ideas flow well. Use linking words like 'and', 'but', 'so', and 'then' to join parts.
Grammar
Fix small grammar and spelling issues, like space after a period, and keep each sentence short and clear.
Lexical resource
Use plain words. Avoid long or hard words. Keep the meaning clear.
Task response
Clear view against the trend with a firm ending.
Coherence and cohesion
Two main parts with reasons and a simple example.
Coherence and cohesion
Good use of basic linking words to show how ideas connect.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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