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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
The table and pie chart provide information regarding the police budget in a specific area of Britain from 2017 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the table chart displays the sources of money, which are divided into three sections,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart presents the allocations of where the money was spent in the two years. In 2018, it was seen that there was a rise in the police budget of around 14
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
. One thing
that is
Linking Words
 noticeable is that all the providers increased their funds in 2018. The biggest budget contributor out of the three sources was the national government, with 177.8
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
While
Linking Words
 other sources,
such
Linking Words
 as grants, are the least significant contributor with approximately 38
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
, and only increased by about 0.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the second year. Money distribution didn’t have a significant change in
both
Correct determiner usage
either
show examples
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 buildings and transport stayed stagnant with 17% in the two years, technology bounced almost double with 14% in 2018.
This
Linking Words
 is the complete opposite of salaries, which declined around 6% in 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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