IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowdays people are using more consumer goods like refrigerators or washing machines. Does this have more advantages or disadvantages ?

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 people are using more
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 like refrigerators or washing
machines
Use synonyms
. than before. I think
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as refrigerators and washing
machines
Use synonyms
 are good for our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and the environment, it is convenient , and it can
also
Linking Words
 reduce our water and electricity power.
Consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 are expensive , so if you want to buy a good one , you need to pat many
money
Use synonyms
 to buy it, like a refrigerator , maybe
costs
Correct subject-verb agreement
cost
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 around 40 thousand New Taiwan dollars, so if you
don'tt
Correct your spelling
don't
 have
Use synonyms
money
Punctuation problem
money,
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is
Verb problem
it's
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 very hard to buy.
In addition
Linking Words
,
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 are big , so you need to live in a big
house
Use synonyms
. Houses are more expensive than before
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
also you
Correct word order
You also
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 need to pay more
money
Use synonyms
 to buy a
house
Use synonyms
, because
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 need a lot of space to put
,
Punctuation problem
.
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Moreover
Linking Words
, if you don'
t
Use synonyms
 have a big
house
Use synonyms
, maybe you can just buy a small one.
Comsumer
Correct your spelling
Consumer
goods
Use synonyms
 are easy to use and convenient for our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. If you don'
t
Use synonyms
 have a washing machine, you need to wash your clothes yourself, which is very inconvenient
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
In addition
Linking Words
, if you don'
t
Use synonyms
 have
refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
show examples
, you need to finish your food as soon as possible.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it saves electricity. If you don'
t
Use synonyms
 have
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
machine
show examples
machines
Punctuation problem
machines,
show examples
 you use a lot of water to wash clothes
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
you
Correct word choice
if you
show examples
 buy
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
Use synonyms
machines
Fix the agreement mistake
machine
show examples
, you can use less water to wash many clothes. In conclusion,
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 are convenient and reduce our stress, but you need to pay more
money
Use synonyms
 to buy a toy or a
house
Use synonyms
,
people
Correct word choice
so people
show examples
 should make a decision
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 it.

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structure
Plan your answer before writing. Use a short intro, two easy ideas in the body, then a simple end.
coherence
Keep one idea in each paragraph and make the links clear with words like and, but, also, then.
grammar
Use easy words. Check small mistakes in form and word use so your meaning is right.
criterion
Make your view clear at the end. Sum up your main idea in the last line.
content
You show a view on how goods can save time and be easy to use.
example
You give a real number for cost, which is a good detail.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • now
  • many
  • people
  • buy
  • more
  • goods
  • fridge
  • washing
  • machine
  • save
  • time
  • life
  • food
  • keep
  • safe
  • comfort
  • cost
  • money
  • price
  • bill
  • energy
  • power
  • repair
  • use
  • waste
  • pollution
  • environment
  • choice
  • option
  • first
  • second
  • also
  • but
  • so
  • then
  • in
  • the
  • and
  • to
  • of
  • a
  • is
  • are
  • be
  • have
  • there
  • their
  • what
  • which
  • you
  • your
  • our
  • can
  • do
  • will
  • may
  • should
  • about
  • this
  • that
  • when
  • where
  • how
  • why
  • also
  • more
  • less
  • than
  • end
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