Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is through education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There
are
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is
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one view about the best approach to limit
crime
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is through
education
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.
Education
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play
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plays
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a crucial role in people’s behaviour,so
provide
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providing
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some
Correct determiner usage
an
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educational curriculum for adults,teenagers and children can reduce the criminal rate.In my opinion,
i
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I
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completely agree
that
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with that
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view. On the one hand,
education
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can improve people’s cognition.
people
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People
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can absorb
many
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much
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knowledge that they might not
focus
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have focused
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before
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on before
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,and they will know what is correct,what is false.
For example
Linking Words
,some people might commit a
crime
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because they don’t even know
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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wrong.Meanwhile,
education
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can cultivate our ability.
Instead
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of having fun
through commit
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by committing
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crimes,people can find
another
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other
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activities to enrich their
life
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lives
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.
For example
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,well-educated students believe they can earn money
through
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on
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their hand,
such
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as finding
proper
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a proper
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job or starting their own business.
In contrast
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,children who drop
their
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out their
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school might choose to steal or rob.
Therefore
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,
education
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lay
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lays
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a solid foundation in our cognition and behaviour,which can reduce
crime
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in
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to
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some extent.
On the other hand
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,some individuals believe that personality is innate,
we
Correct word choice
and we
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can’t reshape it through
education
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.
For instance
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,some criminals are well-educated,they graduated from famous universities,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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like to do some brutal things to seek excitement.Which means no matter
you read
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apply
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how many books
,you
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you read,you
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have
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
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to commit a
crime
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.What is more,compared with
education
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,there are many ways can reduce crimes
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such
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, such
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as publishing policies,to
punish
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punishing
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criminals to the greatest extent possible.
Therefore
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,
education
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might not
the
Verb problem
be the
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best way to reduce
criminal
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the crime
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rate
,
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;
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there are a lot of ways. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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strongly believe that
education
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can
decline
Verb problem
reduce
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crime
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because
education
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is our basic road to
explore
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exploring
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the world,which can
gives
Wrong verb form
give
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range to know what is worth.And we can learn much away from books,we can reject
for
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apply
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others if they want to attract us to commit a
crime
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.

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task
Be clear on your main view in the first line. State you agree and by how much. Then keep this view in all parts.
coherence
Make one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a short topic sentence. Then give one or two simple examples.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like and, but, so, also. Use a clear order so the reader can follow.
language
Check your grammar and spelling. Use simple sentence forms. Fix errors like 'There are one view' and 'Education play'.
structure
Clear four-part layout (intro, two bodies, conclusion).
content
Some attempt to use examples to back ideas.
content
The aim to compare education with other views.
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