IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Should rich nations help poor nations, if so in what ways?

In
this
Linking Words
 era, two kinds of
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 in the world
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have more facilities for their
people
Use synonyms
, so most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are wealthy.
In contrast
Linking Words
, poor
countries
Use synonyms
 don't have enough
baughet
Correct your spelling
budget
 to give enough
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 to their poor
people
Use synonyms
. In my perception,
digitalized
Change the spelling
digitalised
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 can help poor nations by providing charity for hospitals. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
, they can help them in education
Linking Words
moreover
Punctuation problem
, moreover
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
 by giving them
subcity
Correct your spelling
subsidies
 on agriculture machines and
road making
Use the right word
road-making
show examples
instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 point of view, the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 are dying frequently in poor
countries
Use synonyms
because
Verb problem
is because
show examples
 they don't have enough facilities
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hospitals. So, we can give them charity in
this
Linking Words
 way, they can have enough money to buy medical machines,
hiring
Wrong verb form
hire
show examples
 good doctors and surgeons
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they can able to provide free medicine to patients. In
2019
Punctuation problem
2019,
show examples
 when
cronavirus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
 came
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
show examples
 poor
countries
Use synonyms
 didn't have enough money to buy
vaccine
Correct article usage
the vaccine
show examples
. So,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and other developed
countries
Use synonyms
 decided to support needy regions by providing them
enough
Change preposition
with enough
show examples
 money.
Similarly
Linking Words
, from my perspective, rich regions can support them through
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 sector by giving them knowledge about
scientifical
Use the right word
scientific
show examples
 problems and solutions. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they can able to
brodens
Correct your spelling
broaden
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
 about the world.
Last
Linking Words
 year, American scientists added
proficient
Correct article usage
a proficient
show examples
 syllabus in books and appealed
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 government to distribute
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 those
countries
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 needed it most.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we can help them by providing them subcity on
machines
Fix the agreement mistake
machinery
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
, in
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 sector, to make roads and to do mining in
mountains
Correct article usage
the mountains
show examples
. It can play a pivotal role
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 them stable in
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 BBC News,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 of Russia provided 1500 tractors and other
instrumenta
Correct your spelling
instruments
 for farmers in Pakistan. In my conclusion, as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
human
Add a comma
human,
show examples
 we are all equal
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 to save
humanity
Punctuation problem
humanity,
show examples
 we need to help each other in every aspect of life. I am certain, in
this
Linking Words
 way we will overcome every chaos.

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Task Response
Your plan is not clear from the start. Say your main view in the first two lines and keep it in the rest. Use a simple plan: intro, 2–3 body parts, and a short end.
Coherence
Some ideas are mixed in a long block. Use one idea per paragraph and begin with a topic sentence that shows the point.
Coherence
Use small, easy words to link ideas. Use First, Next, Also, Then, Finally to connect thoughts.
Lexical
Look at word choice and spelling. Fix wrong words like baughet, subcity, instrumenta and do not use big or strange words.
Content
The essay shows a real wish to help poor nations and uses examples.
Content
The idea of help for health, education and farming is clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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