IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people like to try new things for example place to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing thing they are familer with. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Fig
Use synonyms
.1A-C show tirzepatide in open regions of the brain, notably the area postrema and NTS, both linked to appetite control.
Then
Linking Words
Fig
Use synonyms
. 2A-C
point
Correct subject-verb agreement
points
show examples
 to activity in the NST, PBN and CeA, where GLP-1R and GIPR seem to act together there. Once GLP-1R is taken out of the brainstem (
Fig
Use synonyms
. 3A-C), the effect fades, so these lower parts seem to drive the change. After that,
Fig
Use synonyms
. 4A shows GIPR in red in the area postrema, close to GABA cells that
Verb problem
are quiet
show examples
quiet
Use the right word
quite
show examples
 nearby GLP-1R neurons.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the later Figures (5-7), the CeA is clearer; these cells tie to feeding
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, and when silent, the shared effect drops away, so the CeA feels like the core of it all.

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task response
The piece does not give a clear task. It reads as a note on figures, not an essay. Add a short line to show what you will talk about and finish with your view.
coherence
Use a simple plan. State your aim, then give main ideas in order, then end with a short view.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, then, next, finally to help flow.
organization
Keep one main idea per sentence and group ideas in short paragraphs; avoid long blocks.
task response
In the end, add a short last line to show your view or result.
coherence
You show clear steps in a series of figure ideas.
content
You use exact names for parts like GIPR and CeA.
content
The text stays on one topic and stays factual.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • try
  • new
  • things
  • places
  • visit
  • food
  • familiar
  • keep
  • doing
  • people
  • view
  • opinion
  • discuss
  • benefit
  • advantage
  • risk
  • safety
  • comfort
  • money
  • time
  • memory
  • growth
  • learn
  • culture
  • adventure
  • change
  • plan
  • balance
  • moderation
  • approach
  • choice
  • option
  • opportunity
  • experience
  • curious
  • open
  • minded
  • confident
  • skill
  • improve
  • deep
  • practice
What to do next:
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