IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The number of refugees and immigrants is increasing? What are the possible cause and effects this provide specific reasons and example to support your answer .

"The
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
redugees
Correct your spelling
refugees
 and immigrants is rising".
This
Linking Words
 statement displays a situation of
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who are leaving
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 own country for a better way of living, and it asks about the reason why and what will it cause eventually. I will back up my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 with logical
reasons
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
i'm
Fix capitalization
I'm
show examples
 gonna agree with
this
Linking Words
 phrase and I will say it's true.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 main
reasons
Use synonyms
 why these immigrants and refugees do that might be because of the effect of wars and
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
ecconomy
Correct your spelling
economy
.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who abandon
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 country are looking for better
housings
Fix the agreement mistake
housing
show examples
 and easier ways to live
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 life.
maybe
Fix capitalization
Maybe
show examples
there
Use the right word
they're
show examples
 trying to provide for
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 children better, or try to create a happy family
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 lives in good conditions.
This
Linking Words
coulde
Correct your spelling
could
 be great for the new
countrey
Correct your spelling
country
 they
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
 to because these
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 will try
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 best to capture an
apportonity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 and work hard for
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 eventually
this
Linking Words
 will increase the
ecconomy
Correct your spelling
economy
 in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 new home.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is not always the case because not all of them have the same mentality and hunger.
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 would be way worse for these places
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they could increase the crime rate.
Worst case
Use the right word
Worst-case
show examples
 scenario
we
Punctuation problem
, we
show examples
 might find a lot of them behind bars. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
reasons
Use synonyms
 for these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to do that are clear, if some have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and no potential in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
future
Punctuation problem
future,
show examples
 they would leave and look for countries that would
imbrace
Correct your spelling
embrace
 and help them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I find these
reasons
Use synonyms
 are justified.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
wolud
Correct your spelling
would
immigrant
Replace the word
immigrate
show examples
 to other countries can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the country in a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 or negative
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
.
This
Linking Words
 means, a rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
citizins
Correct your spelling
citizens
 and
thats
Use the right word
that's
show examples
 it.
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
 countries would benefit from it
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some would not.

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plan
Make a plan for the essay. Use four parts: intro, two body parts, and a short end.
content
Give two or three clear reasons for why people move and two effects on the country they go to. Add simple, clear examples for each reason and effect.
structure
Use words that show order: first, next, then, also, as a result, so.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use simple sentences. Fix big mistakes and use commas well.
content
The idea of the topic is clear.
structure
There is a plan to give causes and effects.
content
Some ideas are given.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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