IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In
this
Linking Words
contemprory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 era, it is frequently seen that
people
Use synonyms
 of
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 take a year gap between their high school and college.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 there are some drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 trend
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
habit
Correct article usage
a habit
show examples
 of overspending and insufficient academic performance
,
Punctuation problem
. Children
show examples
children
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 develop
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 like financial wisdom and foreign cultural values
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 cannot be neglected. To start with, taking a gap in
education
Use synonyms
 gives
oppourtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to young
children
Use synonyms
 for financial independence. To explain,
people
Use synonyms
 who take a year off for
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 work have sufficient funds to reimburse for their expenses.
For instance
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 living with parents
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 to young
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as less stress on basic commodities, food and
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, living independently
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 a chance to precisely manage their budget
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 essential skill to master.
In addition
Linking Words
, taking some time off from studies promotes social and cultural knowledge. Travelling to other nations not only
familiarizes
Change the spelling
familiarises
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 with
people
Use synonyms
 of different ethnic
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
 but
Rephrase
also give
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them
Correct article usage
the oppourtunity
show examples
oppourtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to understand their culture through food, rituals and traditions.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 cultural exchange is not possible
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if young
people
Use synonyms
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not take a break and explore
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
. In opposite, interrupted
education
Use synonyms
 results in poor academic performance. To explain, taking a long break from
education
Use synonyms
 significantly
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
 grades because it
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 difficult for them to concentrate and results in bad performance academically.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, some young
people
Use synonyms
 find difficulty
to secure
Wrong verb form
securing
show examples
 a designated
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 early in their career.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young adults develop a habit of spending more on materialistic products. To justify, during
academics
Fix the agreement mistake
academic
show examples
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 young
people
Use synonyms
 do not have the leverage to purchase expensive goods because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of sources of income.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 was not the case when young
children
Use synonyms
 take a year off to work
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, many young
people
Use synonyms
 purchase a car
while
Linking Words
 working
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
 jobs and later on it
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 cumbersome for them to
payoff
Use the right word
pay off
show examples
 their bills
while
Linking Words
 pursuing their tertiary
education
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 young
people
Use synonyms
incorporates
Correct subject-verb agreement
incorporate
show examples
Correct article usage
the skill
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 of financial wisdom and foreign
countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
 traditional knowledge
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
during
show examples
 on
education
Use synonyms
 gap period, there are some demerits to
this
Linking Words
 practice
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as bad grades in studies and overspending, which cannot be neglected.

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language
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structure
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coherence
Use one main idea per paragraph and use simple linking words to join ideas.
content
Add real examples that fit the point you make.
strength
Shows a balance of both sides.
strength
Gives some examples to explain points.
Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • trend
  • exchange
  • gap year
  • independence
  • maturity
  • finance
  • budget
  • safety
  • culture shock
  • language skills
  • soft skills
  • CV
  • resume
  • work experience
  • employability
  • career
  • deadline
  • planning
  • goal
  • program
  • volunteer
  • internship
  • certificate
  • visa
  • legal
  • accommodation
  • home
  • country
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • problem solving
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • navigation
  • itinerary
  • host country
  • codes of conduct
  • discipline
  • time management
  • self discipline
  • networks
  • connections
  • opportunity
  • risk
  • uncertainty
  • benefit
  • lesson
  • growth
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