IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and joining universities. What are the advantages or disadvantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, it is frequently seen that
people
Use synonyms
 of a young age take a year gap between their high school and college.
However
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 trend ,
such
Linking Words
 as a habit of overspending and insufficient academic performance.
Children
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 develop skills like financial wisdom and foreign cultural values , which cannot be neglected. To start with, taking a gap in learning gives opportunity to young
children
Use synonyms
 for financial independence. To explain,
people
Use synonyms
 who take a year off for continuous work have sufficient funds to reimburse
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
 their expenses.
For instance
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 living with parents gives advantages to young individuals
such
Linking Words
 as less stress on basic commodities, food and accommodation, living independently
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 a chance to precisely manage their budget , which is an essential skill to master.
In addition
Linking Words
, taking some time off from studies promotes social and cultural knowledge. Travelling to other nations not only familiarises
children
Use synonyms
 with
people
Use synonyms
 of different ethnic backgrounds but
Rephrase
also give
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to understand their culture through food, rituals and traditions.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 cultural exchange is not possible
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if young
people
Use synonyms
 do not take a break and explore the world. In opposite, interrupted
education
Use synonyms
 results in poor academic performance. To explain, taking a long break from
education
Use synonyms
 significantly
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 individuals' grades because it becomes difficult for them to concentrate and results in bad
performance
Correct word choice
academic performance
show examples
academically
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, some young
people
Use synonyms
 find
Correct pronoun usage
it difficulty
show examples
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 to secure a designated job early in their career.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young adults develop a habit of spending more on materialistic products. To justify, during academic years, young
people
Use synonyms
 do not have the leverage to purchase expensive goods because of a lack of sources of income.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 was not the case when young
children
Use synonyms
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 a year off to work full-time.
For example
Linking Words
, many young
people
Use synonyms
 purchase a car
while
Linking Words
 working
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
 jobs and later on it
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 cumbersome for them to pay off their bills
while
Linking Words
 pursuing their tertiary
education
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 young
people
Use synonyms
 incorporate skills of financial wisdom and foreign countries' traditional knowledge during on
education
Use synonyms
 gap period, there are some demerits to
this
Linking Words
 practice ,
such
Linking Words
 as bad grades in studies and overspending, which cannot be neglected.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan what you want to say before you write. Make a short list of main ideas and the order you will write them in. Use clear linking words like 'also', 'but', 'for example' to show how ideas are linked.
coherence
Use one main idea per part of a sentence. Do not put many ideas in one long sentence. Stay close to the task and give a view for both sides.
grammar
Check your grammar and word form. Small errors can hide your meaning. Read the essay aloud to find mistakes.
vocabulary
Use simple and exact words. Avoid long and hard words. This helps the reader see your point clearly.
examples
Give more real examples with clear facts or steps to back up your points. Keep tense consistent.
content
The topic is clear and the writer tries to discuss both sides.
structure
There are some good ideas and examples that show effort to explain.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal growth
  • academic performance
  • career exploration
  • cultural exposure
  • academic momentum
  • financial implications
  • peer separation
  • higher education
  • maturity
  • independence
  • self-understanding
  • reinvigorate
  • career paths
  • internships
  • globalized
  • structured learning
  • study habits
  • earning potential
  • social integration
  • non-academic
What to do next:
Look at other essays: