IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Housing is considered a basic human right, and some believe the government should provide free housing to all citizens who are unable to pay for it. Do you agree or disagree with this belief?

Everyone is entitled to housing, so it is believed that the
government
Use synonyms
 should provide financially struggling citizens with free housing. In my opinion,
although
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such
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 a provision is beneficial not only
on
Change preposition
for
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 the individual but
also
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the
Change preposition
on the
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 social scale, it can cause serious problems;
therefore
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,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should consider alternatives that will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, governmental provision of housing will give the economically disadvantaged a necessary boost. The ownership of a house will reduce their burden, enabling them to focus on their work and career. That focus will
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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turn
Punctuation problem
turn,
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 translate into motivation to lift themselves out of poverty.
Moreover
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,
this
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 type of policy will have broader social implications. It stabilises the real-estate bubble
while
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 ensuring housing security;
as a result
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, social divisions between the rich and the poor are gradually removed,
thus
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 it prevents other problems
such
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 as crimes, homelessness and drug abuse.
On the other hand
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, I believe it can put a strain on the
government
Use synonyms
 budget. Providing the poor with free housing is an ambitious project, even for developed countries. It will require
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 level of taxation, especially on the middle-class, which can be met with protest and resentment.
Instead
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, the
government
Use synonyms
 can subsidise housing for the underprivileged
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 or implement governmental loans.
For example
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, the Central Bank of China has offered mortgages with special interest rates to millions of young working-class families.
This
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 progressive policy has helped them secure a roof over themselves
while
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reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 tax wastage. In conclusion, it is true that housing is a fundamental human right.
While
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 providing citizens who cannot afford it
free
Change preposition
with free
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 houses is beneficial, it is not practical. From my perspective, forward-thinking policies
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 loans and
subsidies
Punctuation problem
subsidies,
show examples
 will help struggling people find a home and simultaneously reduce the pressure on taxpayers.

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task response
Be clear on your view in the opening line and keep it steady to the end. This helps the score for task response.
task response
Use more exact facts or sample details to back each idea. Avoid guess or wrong facts.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas with simple words. Use more 'first', 'also', 'however', 'for example' to keep flow.
coherence cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea. This helps the flow.
content
Clear view and balanced take on the issue.
structure
Good use of sign words such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
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