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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the percentage of journeys made by different forms of transport in four countries, The bar graph shows the results of a survey into car use in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the percentage of journeys made by different forms of transport in four countries, The bar graph shows the results of a survey into car use in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table shows the percentage of five
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
chosen
Replace the word
choices
show examples
 by tourists in four countries, and the bar chart compares the
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
five reasons why they used
cars
Use synonyms
 for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 is the most popular choice to have a journey in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries. We can see the biggest reason that people drive
cars
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
,
because
Change preposition
that
show examples
 there is no alternative.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, all the tourists significantly opt for
cars
Use synonyms
 as their moving
tools
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
, especially at 90% in
Canada
Use synonyms
, which is almost twofold that of 47% in
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
.
Traveler
Replace the word
Travellers
show examples
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
, Belgium, and Germany seldom ride
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 to explore, with around 1%.
However
Linking Words
, it is surprising that bikes
become
Verb problem
have become
show examples
 the second popular transportation in
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
, which accounts for 26%.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 similar portion can be seen in choosing public transportation and walking
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 foot worldwide. Looking at the investigation of car usage in
Canada
Use synonyms
, there is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 number of tourists
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that they do not have another option
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 about 40
responds
Replace the word
responses
show examples
. 30 people consider
to
Correct word choice
that to
show examples
 meet the need for work,
while
Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
 its
convenience
Punctuation problem
convenience,
show examples
 have roughly 20
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 to drive
cars
Use synonyms
 by themselves.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 think it has advantages of quicker and
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
nightshift
Use the right word
night shift
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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