IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disgree and say today this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whether getting
educated
Replace the word
an education
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to succeed in life has been argued by
people
Use synonyms
 over the
last
Linking Words
 few decades. Some
people
Use synonyms
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement,
where
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 others do not. Admittedly, it is undeniable that
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 degree is
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 valuable and essential to find a regular occupation. Most of the high-paid jobs now require a minimum of
Correct article usage
a bachelor
show examples
bachelor
Check wording
bachelor's
show examples
 degree, and
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
certain jobs even require
deeper
Correct article usage
a deeper
show examples
 academic background
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as a
master
Check wording
master's
show examples
 degree or above. If a person obtained one of these premier qualifications, they will be able to get into jobs with high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and
therefore
Linking Words
unlocking
Wrong verb form
unlock
show examples
 the door for
success
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, attending
university
Use synonyms
 is not the only
way
Use synonyms
 to reach
success
Use synonyms
, as there are many other ways to obtain stunning achievements without a
university
Use synonyms
 qualification.
For example
Linking Words
, professional
sportsperson
Fix the agreement mistake
sportspersons
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as footballers, can receive brilliant awards and receive maximum salaries,
although
Linking Words
 barely any of them attend higher education
like
Change preposition
at
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, talented entrepreneurs are able to start successful
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 without attending
university
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 statistics, 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the successful business
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 did not attend
university
Use synonyms
 or college. These all
suggests
Correct subject-verb agreement
suggest
show examples
 that
university
Use synonyms
 is sometimes not crucial for
success
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
 is not a
necassity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 for
success
Use synonyms
, it is still the best
way
Use synonyms
 for an ordinary person to reach high achievements.
University
Use synonyms
 education can act as an insurance which makes sure
people
Use synonyms
 can find
decent
Correct article usage
a decent
show examples
 job after they graduate.
However
Linking Words
,
university
Use synonyms
 can be an obstacle for some
people
Use synonyms
 if they are talented, since
university
Use synonyms
 will be a waste of time for them. In conclusion,
university
Use synonyms
 is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to reach a successful life.
However
Linking Words
, it is not true for some
people
Use synonyms
.

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Task Response
Be clear on your view. The essay talks about both sides, but the ending should match the main idea. State your main view early and again in the end with a short reason.
Grammar and accuracy
Fix spelling and grammar. For example, extremly -> extremely; necassity -> necessity. Small fix will make your writing easier to read.
Coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: keep one idea per paragraph and use simple connect words (and, but, so, because, also) to show link. Check that the order of ideas is easy to follow.
Structure/Plan
There is a clear plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
Cohesion
Link words show where ideas join (On the other hand, In addition, In conclusion).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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