IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think the cheap air flight should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many other problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the growth of
budget
Use synonyms
airlines
Use synonyms
 has made air travel accessible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
larger travel lovers
Replace the word
more travellers
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that these cheap
airlines
Use synonyms
 should be banned because they pollute the environment and cause various problems.
However
Linking Words
, I absolutely believe that affordable
airlines
Use synonyms
 bring far more advantages than disadvantages, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 to have chances to travel abroad and promote global connection . The supporters of
budget
Use synonyms
airlines
Use synonyms
 believe that they provide
people
Use synonyms
 with more opportunities to explore the world. Affordable tickets make it possible for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families, and individuals of low income.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 spend less
cost
Check wording
apply
show examples
on transportation, they can use the saved money for accommodation, food, and local attractions.
In addition
Linking Words
, low-cost
airlines
Use synonyms
 often offer flexible flight schedules, allowing
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 to plan a short trip or a weekend vacation easily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 have opposite thoughts. They
emphasize
Change the spelling
emphasise
show examples
 that the rise of low-cost flights will bring larger carbon emissions and enhance global warming.
Besides
Linking Words
, the
budget
Use synonyms
 flights regularly have limited space, which makes passengers having long journeys uncomfortable. In the cases of delay or cancellation, the cheap
airlines
Use synonyms
 often have less compensation than the full-service
airlines
Use synonyms
. These situations
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as information
unbalanced
Punctuation problem
unbalanced,
show examples
 have passengers spend more time searching
solutions
Change preposition
for solutions
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they
recognize
Change the spelling
recognise
show examples
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
 low-cost flights should be banned. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 the
budget
Use synonyms
airlines
Use synonyms
 cause some environmental issues, I firmly prefer
them which
Correct pronoun usage
those that
show examples
 have potential
development
Change preposition
for development
show examples
 in the future. If they have proper management
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regulations, the pollution they cause will be efficiently solved or decreased.

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coherence
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph. Make one main idea in each paragraph and link it to your view.
coherence
Add more linking words to show contrast and to connect ideas between paragraphs.
coherence
Improve word choice and flow. Use simple, natural phrases instead of awkward ones.
task response
In your conclusion, restate your view clearly and end with a strong sentence.
task response
Give a concrete example to support each point, even small ones like a trip for students or families.
content
You show a clear view on the topic.
structure
There is a plan: intro, two body parts, and a closing.
content
You discuss both sides and also give your own view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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