IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that is good for country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people earn. Discuss both view

In today's time, many nations offer
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
highly paid
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 to individuals. Many believe it's empowering the country
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the government need to control the wages up to a certain amount. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion as
people
Use synonyms
 deserve to get paid on the basis of their
work
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many
people
Use synonyms
paid
Verb problem
are paid
show examples
 well
according to
Linking Words
 their field of
work
Use synonyms
, which is fair enough. As some professions require extreme hard
work
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 sector, doctor works
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 day and night to serve our community
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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 they truly deserve a raise because it's scientifically proven that with
appreciation
Punctuation problem
appreciation,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 perform their best. The appreciation definitely could be a high salary package because doctor can use it to get up-to-date information which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to enhance their knowledge.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
set
Wrong verb form
sets
show examples
 a limit on salaries, it will bring equality among workers because in many
workplaces
Punctuation problem
workplaces,
show examples
 it is reported by employees that some
people
Use synonyms
 who do not even deserve
get
Correct pronoun usage
it get
show examples
 promoted
due to
Linking Words
 their connections with high authorities.
Such
Linking Words
 things demotivate and discourage
people
Use synonyms
 not to
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 with passion.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
setting limits on getting paid will boost our economy in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term because
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can use
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 money for the development of our country.
Overall
Linking Words
, deserving professions definitely should get paid well
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 setting limits can bring equality among working
people
Use synonyms
.

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balance
Give more detail on the other view and show how it might affect society.
language
Fix grammar and use correct verb forms so the meaning is clear.
structure
Keep one idea per paragraph and use short, clear sentences.
strength
Clear stance and conclusion
strength
Use of linking words such as 'On the other hand'
strength
Reasoning on fairness and value of work
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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