IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that the teachers for the early schooling must be women. What could be reasons behind this suggestion?

Opinions remain sharply divided regarding the gender of the teacher for the kindergarten and primary schools.
While
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 a few people believe that females should only be allowed as
teachers
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 for the early schooling, others have a contradictory view. The following essay outlines the reasons why
women
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 should be
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to men as primary educators. One justification for
this
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 is that
women
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 have a higher emotional intelligence and can connect with the young kids sooner and better. In explanation, female
teachers
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 are often exemplified and
persued
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portrayed
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 as a motherly figure.
Furthermore
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, the children in the nursery, who have just been out of the comfort of their homes for the first time, try to visualise their
endeared
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loved
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 ones in the
teachers
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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women
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 can not only understand but
also
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 reciprocate to it efficiently.
Moreover
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,
this
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 view is reinforced by the fact that very often, parents prefer to entrust their small children with a female
than
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rather than
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 a male. As the rate of exploitation and
harrassment
Correct your spelling
harassment
 against children, especially the younger age group,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 surging
steepily
Correct your spelling
steeply
, their guardians are always on high alert.
Women
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 candidates are taken into consideration as
teachers
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 for the lower grades of the educational system in order to protect them.
For instance
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, kids are taken care
holistically
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of holistically
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 by the
teachers
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 in the nursery and kindergartens, which includes assistance with their washroom requirements as well.
Therefore
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, to ensure privacy and safety, females are trusted over males. In conclusion, based on the above discussion,
it is clear that
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 small students can be entrusted with female
teachers
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 for both their mental well-being and security.
Women
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 can
accomplish
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meet
show examples
 the needs of these young seedlings and help in their intellectual development progressively, nullifying violence against them.

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grammar
Fix many grammar and spelling errors that hide your meaning.
coherence
Make your ideas clear and in a good order, with a clear start, middle and end.
content
Give both sides of the view, not only one side, to show balance.
style
Use short and simple sentences. Avoid long lines that are hard to read.
content
Use simple facts or real, small examples to show your point.
overall
The essay shows a clear aim and plan.
content
The idea is easy to see and the writer tries to show why some think so.
content
You show care for kids and safety in your points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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