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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table and pie charts below show the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and pie charts below show the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given table illustrates the number of
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts represent details of
students
Use synonyms
 in
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
, who were enrolled in research programs in Australian universities in the years 2001 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that there were many local
students
Use synonyms
; meanwhile, the percentage of local
students
Use synonyms
 decreased considerably,
whereas
Linking Words
 the proportions of non-local men and women rose significantly throughout the period. Starting with the table, there were nearly 34 thousand individuals in 2001, and
this
Linking Words
 number increased to 39,488 by 2010. Regarding international
students
Use synonyms
, their number was around 5,000 in 2001 and
then
Linking Words
 tripled to almost 15,000 in 2010. Turning to the pie charts, at the beginning of the period, there were 44% local male participants and 43% local females. These figures saw a decline by 2010, with males falling to 38% and females dropping by 7 percentage points to 35%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, international
students
Use synonyms
 experienced a remarkable rise. Non-local males increased from 9% to 16%,
while
Linking Words
 non-local females grew from 4% to 11%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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