Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #move #friends #families #work #development

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Finding an appointment is a significant part of any adult's life. These days some good job opportunities may be in far away cities or even overseas far away from family and friends.In my opinion, leaving a homeland for a good work situation helps individuals to grow.

Initially

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, sometimes it is hard for people to find an operation

that is

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related to their own profession. On the one hand, working in a good company with a high income is very significant for career prospects.

On the other hand

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, it is hard for some people to leave their relatives and it is upsetting for them too.Some people prefer to stay in their hometown with lower wages or nonprofessional jobs,

however

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, they may regret

this

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decision because of the lack of job satisfaction or money.

Otherwise

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, working away from family requires living alone and it provides independence, personally and financially, most notably living in a city where there are more job opportunities in related fields, helps individuals to extend their connections and prosper. In conclusion, family and friends play a critical role in anyone's life, but when the day comes they should handle leaving them behind and starting their journey by themselves. Independence is one of the most essential things for men and women,

for

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this

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reason, I think the benefits of

this

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separation outweigh the downsides.

Submitted by Farzaneh Ka on Thu Oct 19 2023

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic well, and your viewpoint is clear. To improve, try to develop your ideas further and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure and is mostly easy to follow, aim to create smoother transitions between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea.

task achievement

Try to elaborate more on your main points with relevant examples and experiences. This will make your arguments more compelling and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, which frames your essay well.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced discussion, acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work.

task achievement

You show a good understanding of the topic and maintain a clear position throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Human cloning is today turning into one of the hottest issues in the world and while it has attracted many supporters, there are still people who disapprove of this modern science. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's studies. And, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion on this?

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying a product (such as a cell phone) or service (medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

Grandparents play a big role in bringing up children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevent examples.