IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart belows gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018

The chart belows gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018
The bar chart illustrates how
families
Use synonyms
 in
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 country spent their weekly income on 8 different categories in 1968 and 2018 .
Overall
Linking Words
 , in 1968 , the
families
Use synonyms
 spent most and least of their income
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food and fuel and power
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
 .
While
Linking Words
 in 2018 , they spent most of their money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 leisure ,
whereas
Linking Words
 personal
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 and fuel &power represented the smallest amount of money that
families
Use synonyms
 allocated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In 2018 , the
families
Use synonyms
 spent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of their income
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure
 and housing purposes , by similar percentages at around 22.5 % for leisure and just below 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for housing . Fuel and power , clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, household goods and personal goods , were similar with percentages around 3 % , 10 % , , 8 % and around 7% respectively . Compared with 40 years ago , the expenditure on housing increased significantly by around 8%
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
 , the spent on food
fail
Verb problem
fell
show examples
dramtically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 by over 10 % from 22% to 35 % .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words families with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: