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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the number of universities ranked in the top 200 in the world (2011) for three subjects in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of universities ranked in the top 200 in the world (2011) for three subjects in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table gives a breakdown
about
Change preposition
of
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 the number of academic institutes for three subjects in five countries. The data are given in numbers.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen clearly that there are five Countries in which the USA, the UK, Australia
New
Punctuation problem
, New
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 Zealand and Canada whose institutes are ranked in three subjects
Biology
Punctuation problem
, Biology
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,
Medicine
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Psychology
Punctuation problem
Psychology,
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 are included.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the USA had more departments in all three subjects as compared to other Countries. They had 69, 54 and 58 Universities for Bio,
Medicine
Use synonyms
 and
Psychology
Use synonyms
 in 2011. The United Kingdom was the second country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 had the 30,24
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 29 science departments.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Australia and Canada
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 very close in their figures. Its
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 9 in Biology, 13 and 12 in
Medicine
Use synonyms
, 17 and 14 in
Use synonyms
psychology
Fix capitalization
Psychology
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, New Zealand had the lowest rate in the academic list. It had only 6 high schools for Biology, 2 for
Medicine
Use synonyms
 and only 4 for
Psychology
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words medicine, psychology with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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