IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

One of the most debated
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the sport
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 sphere is the importance of physical and mental strength.
This
Linking Words
 essay is more likely to agree on mental advantages,
however
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, discussing
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discussing
Wrong verb form
it discusses
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 and
analyzing
Replace the word
analyses
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both
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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opinions. On the first hand,sports are always
accosiated
Correct your spelling
associated
 with athletic and muscular
people
Use synonyms
,especially at a young age.
For instance
Linking Words
, bodybuilders,as Ronny Coleman, are
mosly
Correct your spelling
mostly
 fit and
tonned
Correct your spelling
toned
 athletes,rather than intelligent and
sharp minded
Use the right word
sharp-minded
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people
Use synonyms
. Strong shape is what gives
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 an amazing appearance
as well as
Linking Words
human's
Check wording
human
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 admiration
On the other hand
Linking Words
, being mentally stable and strong is the key
for
Change preposition
to
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 career success and
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of your achievements. Strict discipline and
self awareness
Use the right word
self-awareness
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 are the consequences of planning and limiting your body to specific activities. As an example,
minister
Correct article usage
the minister
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 of sports in China decided and signed
planner
Check wording
a plan
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 for every
athletes
Check wording
athlete's
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teams
Fix the agreement mistake
team
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,school physical education teachers and
countries
Check wording
the country's
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 biggest players,to keep them all balanced and focused on what matters more. From my point of view,
careful
Correct article usage
a careful
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, deliberate and slow increase in career outshines daily physical activities,which some individuals claim to be better. Even
thought steading
Use the right word
though steadying
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balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 line between
both
Use synonyms
 of these would make your success and fame rise, the spleen and exhaustion would pull it backwards. In conclusion,
debate
Replace the word
debating
show examples
 whether physical or emotional strength helps
people
Use synonyms
 to achieve their goals is going to determine
youth
Correct word choice
whether youth
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 to balance them
both
Use synonyms
 individually. Discipline and accountability,mixed with durability and muscle
training
Punctuation problem
training,
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 are
poweful
Correct your spelling
powerful
 qualities for your future desires. If
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 wants to make progress and succeed,
both
Use synonyms
 body and brain
trainings
Fix the agreement mistake
training
show examples
 should take equal places.

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structure
Use clear topic sentences to start each para and rest the view you take. This helps the reader see your aim.
language
Check spelling and word form to make your idea easy to read.
content
Give strong, true examples that fit the point you make, and try to keep facts right.
coherence
Link ideas with simple word ties and show how each point goes with the last.
task response
Finish with a short, clear end that restates your view.
content
The essay shows a try to discuss both sides.
stance
It gives a view of the end and a clear view is stated.
content
Some examples are used for the points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
What to do next:
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