IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

The some
Correct determiner usage
Some
show examples
 animal species
already
Verb problem
have already
show examples
abolished
Verb problem
been abolished
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some of them
very
Verb problem
are very
show examples
 close the
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 disappearing.
In particular
Linking Words
, until the 19th century,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animal extinction
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
solid
Correct article usage
a solid
show examples
 truth
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
scientics
Correct your spelling
scientists
 have conducted many scientific
researchs
Correct your spelling
studies
 to reveal
this
Linking Words
. From my perspective, man-made environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
 and
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
main two
Correct word order
two main
show examples
consuquences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 fuel
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming and climate change. These
are seems
Wrong verb form
seem
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the pave the way
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 animal
extiontion
Correct your spelling
extinction
. On one hand, environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
 rose dramatically
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the late
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
18th century,
Industrilization
Replace the word
the Industrial Revolution
show examples
 era and
using
Wrong verb form
the use of
show examples
 new machinery
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 generally based on fossil
fuels
Punctuation problem
fuels,
show examples
 polluted the air
Linking Words
firstly
Replace the word
first
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, residue of
this
Linking Words
 production process began to pollute water and soil via
land-fill
Use the right word
landfills
show examples
 and
waterfill
Fix the agreement mistake
waterfills
show examples
. Air
pollution
Use synonyms
, which
also
Linking Words
 conveyed the increased CO2 level,
also
Linking Words
 known as green
gas
Check wording
greenhouse
show examples
 effect, has
rose
Verb problem
raised
show examples
 the annual mean temperatures across
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
our planet. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, rising
tempatures
Correct your spelling
temperatures
 are the main cause of climate change
also
Linking Words
.
Dispite
Correct your spelling
Despite
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human kind
Use the right word
humankind
show examples
, other animals have
greatly
Verb problem
been greatly
show examples
 affected
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
 these two fatal causes, so some kind of
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
abolished
Verb problem
have been abolished
show examples
 and some are very near to that.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some solutions to prevent
this
Linking Words
 bad going
to
Change preposition
in to
show examples
 inverse
its results
Check wording
direction
show examples
 and save other species from extinction. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
governments
Punctuation problem
, governments
show examples
 should enforce
stricker
Correct your spelling
stricter
 laws the minimise
envorinment
Correct your spelling
environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
 and
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 effects.
seconly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
citizens
Punctuation problem
, citizens
show examples
sould encaurege
Correct your spelling
should encourage
 to save their environment via
rising
Use the right word
raising
show examples
awerness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about
pollution
Use synonyms
 prevention.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 two
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have a profound effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 saving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 animal species. In conclusion, humanity is the main cause of
this
Linking Words
 extinction
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 to keep in mind that we
have
Correct word order
also have
show examples
 the answers
Correct word order
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
. If we properly
adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
Linking Words
 problem, we could find the best solutions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your answer before you write. Say your main idea first, then the second, and end with a short note.
language
Use only short and simple words. Stick to common words.
organization
Write one idea per sentence. Make each paragraph have one main idea.
content
Add examples that show your point. A clear example helps the reader see your idea.
language
Check spell and make less mistakes. Mistakes hide the idea.
purpose
You try to answer both parts of the task: causes and best ways to help.
form
There is an intro, body, and end in your writing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: