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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the proportion of the workforce who are women and the proportion of managers who are women in five different countries.

The table below shows the proportion of the workforce who are women and the proportion of managers who are women in five different countries.
The given table provides information about the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 workers and
women
Use synonyms
managers
Use synonyms
 in five different countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 workers in Japan has consistently been the highest.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 workers in the USA was higher than in Australia, but the percentage of
women
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managers
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 was the same in both countries. The percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 employees in Japan was higher than in the USA, 48% and 46% respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Australia and Sri Lanka had almost the same
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
women
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 in employment, at around 42% and 41%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figure for Egypt was relatively modest compared to other countries, at just 20%. In terms of
women
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managers
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, the USA and Australia had the highest
proportion
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 of female
managers
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, at around 43% each.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for Japan was slightly higher than that of Egypt, at nearly 17% and 12% respectively. Meanwhile, Sri Lanka recorded the lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of female
managers
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, at only 9%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, managers, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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