IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

In our
fast-pace
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fast-paced
show examples
 modern world, some
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from
stress
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
stress related
Use the right word
stress-related
show examples
 physical or mental problems. From my
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, many
people
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 are struggling in the hustle-bustle of city
life
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, so
this
Linking Words
 is the solid truth of
modernization
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modernisation
show examples
 or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
life
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. Every problem has its own circumstances and
consequencess
Correct your spelling
consequences
, so we will attempt to find the possible causes and solutions of these problems. On one hand, over the
last
Linking Words
 40 years, education and
it's
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its
show examples
syllubus
Correct your spelling
syllabus
 have changed significantly
,
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.
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 The technology trend and increased population
also
Linking Words
 fuel
this
Linking Words
.
In addition
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 to that,
business
Correct article usage
the business
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 market
are
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is
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 much more demanding for skilled workers
also
Linking Words
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these are
affected
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affecting
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 our education
sytem
Correct your spelling
system
. So, schools are
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadening
show examples
 their
cirruculum
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curriculum
 to
grow up
Verb problem
produce
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 more well-rounded students
also
Linking Words
.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
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 leads to student
stress
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.
Linking Words
similarly
Fix capitalization
Similarly
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,
people
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 are feeling more
stressable
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stressed
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 in their daily
life
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also
Linking Words
,
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apply
show examples
For example
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, my brother
are
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is
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 struggling with his demanding working
environment
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environment,
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that
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and
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 he is
taking
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seeking
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 professional aid.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have some
stress
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 relief actions to take,
for instance
Linking Words
,
people
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 might enhance their interpersonal skills, like relations with colleagues,
friedns
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friends
 and
also
Linking Words
 with
teir
Correct your spelling
their
 families
,
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.
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Seocondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, humanity
squezid its
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squeezes
 all daily
life
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 in the city walls, so adding more outdoor visits
especially
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, especially
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 natural areas
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also
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, also
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unwind
Correct subject-verb agreement
unwinds
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 their emotions
Rephrase
apply
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also
Linking Words
.
for
Fix capitalization
For
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axample
Correct your spelling
example
, when my sister over
stressed
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over-stressed
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 by the hustle and bustle of city
life
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, she immediately
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 hiking to
relief
Replace the word
relieve
show examples
. In summary,
Use synonyms
stress
Correct article usage
the stress
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 level of humanity
increased
Verb problem
has increased
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 over the
last
Linking Words
 decades
, the
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. The
show examples
 origin of
stress
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 is generally clearer, so
people
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 should determine to
zeroize
Correct your spelling
minimise
 its effects.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Use a simple order: intro, causes, solutions, and a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph. Stick to one main idea per paragraph.
language accuracy
Check spelling and grammar. Fix easy errors like 'it's' vs 'its' and common misspellings.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show order and connections, such as first, then, and, finally.
task response
Give more exact examples of stress causes and more precise ways to tackle them.
task response
End with a short, clear conclusion that restates your main points.
content strength
The essay tries to cover both causes and solutions.
content strength
There are real-life examples (brother, sister) to show stress in daily life.
purpose
The topic is stated early and the general idea is clear.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Burnout
  • Digital detox
  • Mindfulness
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Financial stability
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Resilience training
  • Support networks
What to do next:
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