. The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today

The massive responsibility of protecting the ecosystem is on the shoulders of environmental enthusiasts.
While
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some opine that
utilizing
Change the spelling
utilising
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renewable energy, like solar power batteries,
instead
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of fossil fuels is a must for everyone. In my view,
although
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we do our best to save
such
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a god-given gift, it is almost impossible to follow
this
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rule in some developing countries. On the one hand, sustainable development should be a priority for citizens all around the world. To clarify, in
this
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modern world, the industry enthusiasts solely focus on expanding industrial districts. They believe environmentalists’ attitude hinders economic growth.
This
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way
tens
Punctuation problem
, tens
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of thousands of trees are cut down to build
such
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places.
As a result
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of
this
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deforestation, the air is getting polluted.
Hence
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, promoting the culture of using renewable energy goes a long way in reducing the emission of toxic materials in the air.
On the other hand
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, merely insisting on eliminating burning fossil fuels does not necessarily ensure a healthy environment.
For example
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, in some developing countries,
such
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as Iran and India, there are many wide-ranging issues, like poverty, recession, and sanctions.
Therefore
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, allocating a vast amount of money
on
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to
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the ecosystem is not logical
while
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the majority of people struggle to survive.
Moreover
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, providing diverse job opportunities and investing in education
prioritize
Wrong verb form
are prioritised
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over thinking a bout nature because not meeting their daily demands, they become reluctant to place a high value on their surrounding. In conclusion, underestimating the importance of saving natural beauty is not logical. I believe, doing
such
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an important action without having enough infrastructure and budget will fail to continue. So, high-ranking officials are in charge of addressing these problems.

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Task response
State a clear position in the introduction and keep it in mind throughout the essay, then link every paragraph back to the main idea.
Coherence
Improve flow by using linking words like first, also, but, for example to connect ideas in each paragraph.
Structure
There is a clear view on the topic and a conclusion.
Coherence
The essay shows contrast with on the one hand and on the other hand to discuss sides.
Content
Countries like Iran and India are used as examples.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • fossil fuels
  • safe alternatives
  • global priority
  • limitations
  • drawbacks
  • potential benefits
  • government
  • international cooperation
  • investing
  • research and development
  • challenges
  • obstacles
  • transitioning
  • individuals
  • businesses
  • adopting
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