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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that a person’s culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that it has only minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some
people
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 argue that a person's culture is given by their national
country
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,
while
Linking Words
 others consider that surroundings play a significant role in creating a human's identity. In my opinion, nationality and origin
country
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 provide basic behaviours and features. In turn, when
people
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 are involved in society,
such
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 as getting an education, creating a family, or building a career, their cultural definition might change. During historical events, we can observe how
people
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 manage to involve themselves and adapt to each other.
For example
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, nowadays, a lot of nationalities can find their home in Kazakhstan. They were immigrated by the Soviet Union government 100 years ago after a special program called "Collectivism." It was one of the main reasons why today about 120 nationalities live in Kazakhstan, which could save their identity and culture. It brings a lot of benefits for all of them,
such
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 as cultural exchanges and strong relationships through education, creating international families, and building democracy.
Nevertheless
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, some of them forgot their original language, and we can see how a lot of Kazakhs speak Russian because it was the official language to communicate with others. It means that the surrounding area
also
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 plays a great role in creating a person's life experience and influence. In my view, every nationality should save
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 own identification and specific cultural rules, because it helps to develop our life and open new opportunities.
For example
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, the USA is the richest and strongest
country
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 in the world because I consider that multiculturalism was the main reason
to build
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for building
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 democracy, which led
them
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it
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 to become the greatest
country
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. In conclusion, in the
globalization
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globalisation
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 period, we need to save our unique identity and, through education, relationships, and work, provide for
people
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's needs.

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task response
Be clear on your view in the first lines. Start with a simple statement of your own view.
coherence
Make a plan before you write. Use one main idea per paragraph. A plain topic sentence helps.
content
Give a clear reason for each point and add one good example that is true and linked to that point.
structure
Your intro and conclusion should rest, or sum up, what you said and show your view.
cohesion
Link ideas with clear words like first, also, but, however, and use simple phrases to show order.
task
The essay shows two views and your own view.
content
You give examples such as moving to Kazakhstan and ways people learn and form family.
structure
There is effort to talk about global ideas and identity.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural norms
  • Values
  • Traditions
  • Practices
  • Festivities
  • Cuisine
  • Language
  • Religion
  • Beliefs
  • Social systems
  • Institutions
  • Globalization
  • Media influence
  • Multicultural societies
  • Migration
  • Personal choices
  • Experiences
  • Education
  • Knowledge exchange
  • Economic factors
  • Homogenized
  • Cultural identity
  • Geographically concentrated
  • Individualism
  • Collectivism
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