IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Transportation , highways, and roads are fundamental needs of the public. High authorities need to spend on these types of projects. So, a question arises
,
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:
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 where should money be invested
.
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?
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 I agree with the statement, and I will discuss my perspective below. To spend the money on manufacturing railways is the best decision for the poor by the governments. It will help them to travel a long distance with less budget. The prices of the train tickets are much cheaper than those of buses or other
automobiles
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.The management can get benefits from the scheme.To exemplify, in Pakistan, 60% of the population belongs to the middle - and low-class people. If executives can provide citizens
lower
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with lower
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 prices on trains, the public will have to choose railway transport. The second reason is that railways are more environmentally friendly as compared to
automobiles
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 on roads. Highways always remain overcrowded with
automobiles
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 and
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
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 traffic jams.
Automobiles
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 release highly toxic pollutants in the atmosphere, which cause severe diseases, as lung cancer, skin cancer, depression, and anxiety. But
on the other hand
Linking Words
, most trains run on electricity and consume less fuel. Because of
such
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 of reason ,it is more atmosphere-friendly. To exemplify, if a person gets stuck in a traffic jam and gets duration of the jam is about 1 to 2 hours, surely, he will be late for meetings, work, or daily tasks.
Overall
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, it is not the right decision to focus only on the construction of the highways. From my perspective, the government needs to find out the basic requirements of the middle-class and lower-class public.
This
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 way, our management can grow economically.

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task response
State your view clearly at the start and keep a clear line to the end.
coherence
Use one idea per paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
content
Give a specific example and numbers when you can, not only general statements.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar, like 'railways' vs 'railway', and join words properly.
content
The writer gives a clear stance and uses why the railways can help poor people.
content
There is an idea about the environment and less pollution.
structure
There is a beginning and a conclusion that frame the writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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