IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say it is better to have vertical cities with lots of tall buildings rather than horizontal cities with fewer tall buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some dissenting voices
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that
Correct article usage
the pethora
show examples
pethora
Correct your spelling
plethora
 of taller
buildings
Use synonyms
 in the
cities
Use synonyms
 ought to be better,
instead
Linking Words
 of having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
flat
cities
Use synonyms
 with minor
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tall infrastructures. I, for one, largely disagree with the viewpoint,
due to
Linking Words
 the
menance
Correct your spelling
menace
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
human's
Check wording
human
show examples
 life associated with natural calamities or accidents,
as well as
Linking Words
cumbersome
Correct article usage
the cumbersome
show examples
for
Check wording
nature for
show examples
 senior
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 to live in vertical
cities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline my point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 with relevant examples.
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 one hand, the
lives
Use synonyms
 of residents
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 living in the skyrocketed heights of
buildings
Use synonyms
 can be hazardous because of the natural calamities
such
Linking Words
 as earthquakes. It will be very difficult for the
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who
Use synonyms
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the top floor to escape from
such
Linking Words
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
. In 2002, most of the dwellers at
Correct article usage
the kholapur
show examples
kholapur
Fix capitalization
Kholapur
show examples
 flat at
khacch
Fix capitalization
Khacch
show examples
, Gujarat, lost their
lives
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the earthquake
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
 at midnight, which is a prime example. Living,
therefore
Linking Words
, can be challenging in the tall
buildings
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sometimes it can cost
Use synonyms
lives of the
Correct word order
the lives of
show examples
 individuals because of
such
Linking Words
 accidents.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will be tedious and troublesome for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
 to live on the top floor of the
buildings
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some senior citizens are
fear phobic
Correct word choice
afraid
show examples
 towards
lift
Fix the agreement mistake
lifts
show examples
, so
instead
Linking Words
 they prefer stairs to get
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the floor.
In addition
Linking Words
, the air pollution, generally,
gets
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accumlates
Correct your spelling
accumulates
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the atmosphere during
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
show examples
, which can cause
respirtory
Correct your spelling
respiratory
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, living in
tall
Correct article usage
a tall
show examples
 building becomes a nightmare for them as they
struggles
Correct subject-verb agreement
struggle
show examples
 to do the daily
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 and
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 health.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the other hand, some
people
Use synonyms
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 that tall
buildings
Use synonyms
 are better because they take
less
Change preposition
up less
show examples
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 gives
spacious
Correct article usage
a spacious
show examples
 area for parking lots or other
amentities
Correct your spelling
amenities
. owing to
this
Linking Words
, more infrastructure can be imparted in the
cities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, will
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to traffic snarls as more space will be covered by stores and
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 sector.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the residents of tall
buildings
Use synonyms
 are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
constant
deterrant
Correct your spelling
danger
 of natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can cost their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and troublesome for retirees to live
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
these
show examples
resident
Check wording
buildings
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 daily struggles and air pollution. I reckon that
cities
Use synonyms
 should encourage more horizontal houses than vertical
as
Correct pronoun usage
ones as
show examples
 it will keep the city more attractive and simple, where
people
Use synonyms
 can live freely without any threat or trouble from any situations.

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task response
Be more clear on your view from the start and make a short plan for the essay.
language
Use only easy words and fix big grammar errors to make your idea flow.
coherence
Put one main idea in each paragraph and use clear link words between ideas.
grammar
Check your spelling and avoid odd phrases that break the thought.
examples
Use real facts or simple examples to back points, and explain them a bit.
stance
You take a clear view against tall flats.
content
You give some good points on space use and life of older people.
content
You show that the topic asks about both sides and you discuss both.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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