IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Countries with long avarage working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Nations with longer
overall
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 working hours are better financially than other
countries
Use synonyms
 who has less amount of working hours. I fully agree with
this
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statemen
Use the right word
statement
show examples
. Mainly because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 making higher working
time
Use synonyms
 for the average worker gives the project that they are building and improving additional attention.
However
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, those other lower average working hours
Use synonyms
countries wont
Correct your spelling
won't
.
Moreover
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, having a longer working
time
Use synonyms
 will raise your
fininacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 state. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will make the
sitiuation
Correct your spelling
situation
 of contacting
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers from other nations way easier.
First,
Linking Words
to be better and more successful in financial
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, you should give a lot of attention
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
time
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 to your project
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 or your plan.
That is
Linking Words
 why
countries
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 like China
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 various successful companies. Unlike
countries
Use synonyms
 like Albania
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
who
Fix the agreement mistake
which
show examples
 has few
seccessful
Correct your spelling
successful
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
. When it comes to
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 of communications. Salesmen and international sellers will get more sales. And
that is
Linking Words
 because of the
time
Use synonyms
diffrences
Correct your spelling
differences
 worldwide.
For example
Linking Words
, if we make a global company have a
12 hour
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12-hour
show examples
 shift for salesmen possible and make them try to sell a product, we would see a
raise
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rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sales. But
,
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apply
show examples
 you have to pay these workers for overtime.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 you would see a profit financially. In conclusion, being a nation
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 has
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 average working
time
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is a great
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 to improve economically. But, you have to treat the workers right, in terms of salary
bonus
Correct word choice
and bonus
show examples
. As a nation and local companies, you would
benifit postivly
Correct your spelling
benefit positively
 because you give your work more attention, and you will make contact with buyers better.

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structure
Plan your answer. Say your view, give a reason, then give one example.
structure
Have a short intro and a closing line that restates your view.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, then, also, but, so.
coherence
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and add a small example to show it.
content
You state a clear view and keep to the topic of work hours and money.
content
You try to use an example to show the link between hours and selling.
development
You note the point of fair treatment for workers.
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