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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Teenagers face a lot of problems in school and at home. What is the cause of this? How can parents solve this problem?

In the prevailing era, tremendous problems are faced by teenagers in school and at home.
This
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 essay will not only discuss the causative factors behind
this
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 scenario
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 some measures will
also
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 be highlighted in order to mitigate the issue. One primary difficulty that adolescents encounter in school is academic pressure. The competition to achieve high scores and secure university placements can be overwhelming, leading to undue stress and anxiety.
For example
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, the younger generation normally
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 more than 80% in their final exams to get admission in Punjab Technical University, Jalandhar.
However
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, the majority of them, at home, usually experience conflicts with their
parents
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 because of different perspectives, expectations, and communication gaps. To illustrate, adolescents may like to adopt
western
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Western
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 culture whilst their
parents
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 force them to follow only their local culture. To address these challenges,
parents
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 should create a supportive environment in which young people feel comfortable discussing their problems. If
parents
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 become friends
of
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with
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 their children, they can understand
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 viewpoint.
For example
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, the young generation
like
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
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 to wear
western
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Western
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 dresses because they live in the modern era. When approval is given by
parents
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to
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, they can start to understand each other.
Nevertheless
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, when it comes to academic environmental pressure, teachers should introduce a balanced approach that combines effective study
strategy
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strategies
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 with self-care and mental wellness.
To conclude
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,
while
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 young individuals face significant challenges in their academic life and
dosmetic
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domestic
 environment,
parents
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 and teachers play a pivotal role in helping them to navigate these challenges. By providing a supportive environment and a balanced approach, both of them help teenagers to overcome their struggles and achieve goals.

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task response
The answer shows a clear aim and talks about causes and how to fix, but it could go deeper on each cause and give more real steps for parents.
coherence
Make the flow better by more simple linking. Use a set order: idea, why it happens, then how to fix. Use easy words like first, next, and finally.
structure
Use shorter sentences and catch mistakes. Break long ideas into two or more small lines to make the read easy.
content
The essay has a clear plan with cause and fix.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
Some examples link ideas to real life.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • teen
  • school
  • home
  • parents
  • parent
  • teacher
  • friend
  • talk
  • listen
  • care
  • help
  • plan
  • rule
  • routine
  • time
  • work
  • study
  • sleep
  • mood
  • worry
  • fear
  • grade
  • support
  • problem
  • solution
  • together
  • calm
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