IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

ome people think that working long hours is beneficial for companies and individuals. Others believe that overworking has more negative effects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Overworking is a current underlying issue in the modern world which affects a wide variety of individuals. In my
outlook
Check wording
opinion
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,
this
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 is something negative as overusing your brain may lead to long-term health problems and
overall
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 reduced productivity
hurting
Punctuation problem
, hurting
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 the
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 results of a company. First and foremost, Health problems are usually born out of the
debt
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lack
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 of sleep that most people have nowadays
as a result
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 of allocating
to
Use the right word
too
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 much
time
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
to
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 their
work
Use synonyms
 and because our organism is not provided sufficient
time
Use synonyms
 to recover
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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after hard working
hours
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, individuals who miss their
reccomended
Correct your spelling
recommended
 8
hours
Use synonyms
 of sleep daily experience fatigue, brain fog , memory loss and
overall
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 weakness of the body.In the worst case scenario
lack
Punctuation problem
, lack
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 of adequate sleep
cand
Use the right word
can
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 lead to chronic heart issues or cancer.
Therefore
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, everyone should interpret these 8
hours
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 in which we do not activate as a crucial thing that keeps us alive and ensures that
their
Correct pronoun usage
our
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 best self comes out daily.
Moreover
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, individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 spend
to
Use the right word
too
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 much
time
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 on
work
Use synonyms
 do not take into account the fact that by not taking
breaks
Punctuation problem
breaks,
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 they not only hurt their productivity but
also
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 the quality of their
work
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. A case in point is a person
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 works in quant
finance
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finance,
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 where they
essentialy
Correct your spelling
essentially
 need to keep looking at market charts for extended periods of
time
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and
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, and
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 by not taking breaks
their
Punctuation problem
, their
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 brain gets heavily exhausted
leading
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, leading
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 to a decrease in how well they complete their
assigments
Correct your spelling
assignments
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
long-term
Use the right word
long term
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,
affecting significantly
Correct word order
significantly affecting
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 the potential earnings of the hedge funds these people
activate
Verb problem
work
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 for. So to eliminate
such
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problem
Correct article usage
a problem
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companies
Punctuation problem
, companies
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 should be more sensible and less strict by providing
it's
Check wording
their
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 employees with more leisure
time
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as
Change preposition
apply
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to relax and recharge their batteries during their
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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, excessive
work
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 is
detrimnetal
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 to one's well-being and productivity
affecting
Punctuation problem
, affecting
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negatively
Rephrase
apply
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not only himself but the institution he is employed at from a financial point

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task response
Talk about both views in a fair way and give a clear own view at the end.
structure
Make a plan: a short intro, two body parts, and a short end to make flow.
strength
The writer shows a view about overwork being bad.
effort
Some real examples are used, like sleep need and work time.
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