IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Family members and friends caring for elderly people find it hard to spend enough time looking after them. What are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

It is an undeniable fact that
old-adulthood
Use the right word
old adulthood
show examples
 is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
childhood where it
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
surveilliance
Correct your spelling
surveillance
. In
this
Linking Words
 era, it becomes
strenous
Correct your spelling
strenuous
 to devote sufficient
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 caring
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
because of the responsibilities and hectic schedule. But it can be countered by some methods
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 I will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
 in the paragraphs. To commence with, the primary reason for not getting
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
much
time
Use synonyms
 for veterans
due
Linking Words
to commitment
Correct word order
commitment to
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
office duties. To specify it,
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 responsible person of the house is fulfilling the needs of the family and their children
as well as
Linking Words
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to pay all the
checks
Check wording
bills
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 sufficient
time
Use synonyms
 to talk with them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, elderly people
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 period of
time
Use synonyms
 to look after, so it might
be not
Correct word order
not be
show examples
 possible for
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 individual to provide enough
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, senior citizens feel loneliness and depression because of not having anyone to
do
Verb problem
have
show examples
Correct article usage
a converstion
show examples
converstion
Correct your spelling
conversation
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
 To address
this
Linking Words
 problem, families and close ones can
acquired
Wrong verb form
acquire
show examples
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
 caregiver to communicate with them.
This
Linking Words
 can
solved
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 their loneliness and
tensed
Replace the word
tension
show examples
 of their
guardiance
Correct your spelling
guardianship
while
Linking Words
 they are doing their jobs. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, professional
takecare
Correct your spelling
care
 offered a meal
as well as
Linking Words
 giving medications on
time
Use synonyms
. Companionships help to
allievate
Correct your spelling
alleviate
 anxiety. Another
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
 is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 families can make out their
time
Use synonyms
-schedule strategies to meet them.
This
Linking Words
 can assist them
to have
Change preposition
in having
show examples
 a quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their families.
To sum up
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
 people are not getting much
time
Use synonyms
 to look after their elder ones because of involvement in jobs and responsibilities ,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with proper
time
Use synonyms
 management and expert guidance can
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 obstacles can be solved.

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structure
Plan before you write: state the causes first, then give the solutions.
coherence
Each part should have a clear start sentence that tells what that part is about.
grammar vocabulary
Use simple words and fix spelling and word form errors.
content
Give one good example for each point when you can.
conclusion
End with a short closing that restates the main idea.
content
You try to cover causes and ways to help.
coherence
You use a linking line like 'To address this problem'.
content
There is an attempt to keep the idea as one plan of work and care.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demanding work schedules
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • geographical distance
  • frequent communication
  • relocation
  • adequate care
  • training programs
  • workshops
  • financial constraints
  • financial assistance programs
  • tax benefits
  • emotional and physical stress
  • support groups
  • respite care services
What to do next:
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