Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Urbanization
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Urbanisation
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and modern life have presented people with a number of challenges and decisions.
However
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, the crux of the matter is related to the style of eating.
While
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some argue that traditional
food
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has been replaced by
their
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its
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counterparts, in my view, the traditional way of cooking is too important to be ignored. On the one hand, packaged
food
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goes a long way in
this
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contemporary era. To clarify,
due to
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this
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machine-oriented life, everyone is suffering from hurry sickness. They have to work from dawn to dusk to meet their daily needs.
Otherwise
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, they struggle to survive, so not many people can set some time to cook
home-made
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homemade
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meals.
As a result
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, they have no other choice but
ordering
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to order
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their
food
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from restaurants or supermarkets.
On the other hand
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, maintaining good health is a priority for the majority of people. So seriously has being in good shape affected some people’s minds that they strongly believe that serving home-cooked meals is one of the most effective ways to avoid a grossly fat shape. Since processed
food
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is full of sugar, salt and fat
which
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, which
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leads to many health-related issues,
such
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as obesity.
Moreover
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, there is a definite link between
food
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and the culture of each nation.
Therefore
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, if we eliminate traditional dishes, we eliminate our culture.
This
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is why
,
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apply
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it is the responsibility of everybody to place a high value on
such
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meals. In conclusion,
although
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ready
food
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is an inseparable part of urban life, it does not necessarily mean it can replace
their
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its
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traditional counterparts. I believe the traditional way of preparing
food
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is still important because of its advantages both in terms of health and culture.

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task
Give more real life examples or data for each point to show depth.
coherence
Use clear and steady links between ideas and keep sentences short so the text moves well.
language
Check grammar and word use; fix mistakes like double spaces and wrong word form.
content
The writer shows a clear view and makes a case for traditional cooking.
structure
There is a clear two part idea in the body with on the one hand and on the other hand.
content
Health and culture are kept in the talk.
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