IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many museums charge for admission while few others are free. Do the advantages of charging a fee outweigh its disadvantages?

Various
museums
Use synonyms
 charge
vistiors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 money for entry.
Although
Linking Words
 some others do not. I believe there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many more advantages than disadvantages. Mainly because the visitors would appreciate the
art
Use synonyms
 in
museums
Use synonyms
 more.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having to pay for visiting would make an individual reconsider what he got
himslef
Correct your spelling
himself
 into.
This
Linking Words
 would be a great way to make a
Use synonyms
museums
Fix the agreement mistake
museum
show examples
 for people who are really
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 and avoid theft and
sabatogers
Correct your spelling
saboteurs
. Making it a "pay to enter museum",
this
Linking Words
 is going to make the place have a beautiful vibe, fun, and everyone will be in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 company of people with the same
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
Use synonyms
.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, it will make a great community and you would profit from it. In the case of theft. When you avoid free visitors,
this
Linking Words
 would significantly decrease the amount of theft and possibly
getting
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
 the
art
Use synonyms
 or the historic
peaces
Check wording
pieces from being
show examples
 sabotaged or destroyed. In the late
80s
Add a comma
80s,
show examples
 there was a successful attempt
of stealing
Change preposition
to steal
show examples
 the Mona Lisa. Many scholars and historians at that time believed it was because the museum lowered the entry fee
price
Check wording
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, we can clearly see that having an entry fee for
musumes
Correct your spelling
museums
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is the positive and correct way to treat the people, the
art
Use synonyms
, and the safety of the
musume
Correct your spelling
museum
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, valuable paintings and arts in
museums
Use synonyms
 should be in a safe
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
.

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Task Response
Explain both sides of the issue. State clear reasons for advantages and for disadvantages. Add simple, concrete examples to support each point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make the essay flow better with small linking words and clear topic sentences. Try to limit to 2-3 main ideas and close with a clear conclusion.
idea
The writer states a clear view that fees can bring good effects.
content
The piece makes an effort to connect value of art with safety and care.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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