IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that exercise is the key to good health, while others say that a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, health issues have become a topic of heated debate.
While
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 a group of
people
Use synonyms
 state that exercising is the most essential element for staying healthy, others claim that the food consumed is rather more crucial.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both views and provide the author’s perspective. Proponents of exercising often argue that sports or workouts enhance the cardiovascular
system
Use synonyms
 for human beings, making us more vital and energetic. Routinely having exercises not only lowers the blood pressure, which reduces the
opportunity
Check wording
risk
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 of having hypertension, but
also
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 possesses many potential benefits. Statistics from NTU have shown that the possibility of heart attacks seems to be lower
on
Change preposition
in
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 individuals who go to the gym every day, and inversely proportional to the
day
Fix the agreement mistake
number of days
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 count for
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
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.
Therefore
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, the evidence seems to be strong for the proponents, making them believe that exercise is the way to get healthy.
However
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, some
people
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 hold a totally different perspective, regarding a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 as the most vital factor, as the nutrients in food are what actually affect individuals seriously. An unbalanced
diet
Use synonyms
, which includes not enough vegetables, meat, and other essential ingredients, will have a huge impact on
people
Use synonyms
’s digestive
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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. Research conducted by a laboratory in NCKU had demonstrated that the meals
people
Use synonyms
 had not only affected their digestive
system
Use synonyms
, but
also
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 their immune
system
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. The amount of T cells and B cells dropped gradually after the experiment, which made the participants have unbalanced meals for three days.
Thus
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, the supporters believe that a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 should be more impactful. In my opinion, both sides are reasonable and not contradictory. We can exercise every day coincides with
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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diet
Use synonyms
, which might be a better way to be healthy. In conclusion, though
people
Use synonyms
 present compelling arguments regarding how to keep in good health, I do think the ideas are not contradictory to each other, and should be conducted simultaneously to gain the biggest benefit in health.

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task
In each paragraph, pick one main idea and add a simple fact or example to back it.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
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