IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Cities around the world are continuing to expand as people leave the countryside. Some people prefer to live in the city while others prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both views.

Nowadays, the size of urban areas
gets
Verb problem
is
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 bigger than in the past, because of the increasing population residing in them. Still,
few
Correct article usage
a few
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people
Use synonyms
 stick with living in rural areas. In my opinion, the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 are that there are more career opportunities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and a developed infrastructure.
However
Linking Words
, some of them who choose to live in the countryside want
quite
Use the right word
quiet
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 and peaceful places, or country
people
Use synonyms
’s lives cost less than in
cities
Use synonyms
. First of all, there are advantages to getting a good chance for their jobs. In detail, most big companies are concentrated in
cities
Use synonyms
, because they need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good accessibility for running business well, namely supply chains, merchandising, or customer services.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is much easier for job hunters to start their careers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the rate of wages in capitals is much higher than that in
countries
Correct word choice
other countries
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the average annual income of urban residents is three times higher than that in rural areas.
Secondly
Linking Words
, more facilities are set up in
cities
Use synonyms
 than out of them, which makes human life much more convenient. Now,
people
Use synonyms
 in big towns look forward to not only necessary organisations, for
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
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, hospitals, transportation or groceries, but
also
Linking Words
 places to spend their free time, like gyms, parks, or shopping centres.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the countryside
also
Linking Words
 has its own benefits, especially for
people
Use synonyms
 who don’t want to reside in crowded places.
People
Use synonyms
 living outside of capitals do not need to worry about traffic jams
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 or rush hours
at
Change preposition
in
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 transportation.
In particular
Linking Words
, the population density of them is just half of that in
cities
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, living citizens’ live is much more expensive than staying in the countryside. The house rent fee is a representative example of it. Residents the New York, which is the biggest city in the world, pay more than half of their wages for their house rents. They
also
Linking Words
 said it is very hard for them to save money, because their fixed life spans are almost two-thirds of their revenues. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 moving to
cities
Use synonyms
 are looking for convenient lives with good occupations,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite of them just want to live peaceful lives and spend less. I believe both lifestyles have their own strengths and drawbacks, but if I just choose one, I would like to live in
cities
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Use simple grammar and clear form. Many sentences have mistakes that change meaning.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea with an example. This helps a lot.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like first, also, but, so to help flow.
content
Be careful with facts. Keep examples true and easy to follow.
task response
Finish with a strong end that repeats your view and the two sides.
structure
The essay shows two sides and has a clear plan.
content
The writer states a view in intro and ends with a view.
content
There are some good examples to show points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan areas
  • economic opportunities
  • career advancement
  • healthcare facilities
  • cultural diversity
  • countryside
  • tranquil environment
  • cost of living
  • close-knit communities
  • rural areas
  • housing affordability
  • social amenities
  • employment prospects
  • cultural vibrancy
  • hustle and bustle
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