IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show the Happy Valley Shopping Center in 1982 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the Happy Valley Shopping Center in 1982 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two maps below illustrate the development of Happy Valley Shopping Centre from 1982 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the shopping centre experienced a significant transformation,with more modern facilities replacing older ones.Over the three decades, the
area
Use synonyms
 became more organised and leisure-oriented, and convenient for visitors. In 1982, the shopping centre included a lake on the west side , a coffee shop which was located nearby, and an entertainment
area
Use synonyms
 in the southeast.There were
also
Linking Words
 several stores
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as a sports store and a furniture store
on
Punctuation problem
, on
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 the eastern and southern sides
,
Punctuation problem
;
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meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 a parking
area
Use synonyms
positioned
Verb problem
was positioned
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the
Change preposition
at the
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 southern corner.The main entrance was situated at the bottom of the layout, with toilets and an elevator
were
Verb problem
apply
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located in the central part of the building. By 2012,the
area
Use synonyms
 had been redeveloped extensively . The lake and coffee shop were removed in order to make way for a furniture retail
area
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 and an expanded parking lot. The sports and electronics stores replaced previous shops , offering a wider variety of goods .
In contrast
Linking Words
,the entertainment
area
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 and toilets remained
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, new food stores and themed restaurants were introduced in the east , providing more dining options.The layout of entrances and elevators was retained, but the design became more structured and accessible.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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