IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?”

Public
libraries
Use synonyms
 are a popular destination for self-studies .
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that these
libraries
Use synonyms
 should focus on providing
books
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of shifting their attention by spending their funds on
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as software, DVDs or videos. In my opinion,
prioritizing
Change the spelling
prioritising
show examples
sale
Correct article usage
the sale
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 should be the main aim of
such
Linking Words
libraries
Use synonyms
 designated for public use.
While
Linking Words
 the trend of investing in modern technological media has
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
provison
Correct your spelling
providing
 visual information.
This
Linking Words
 is because certain concepts or theories can be better acknowledged through images or visual sources rather than in the form of text.
For instance
Linking Words
, various concepts of physics are better understood through practicals
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can
documented
Verb problem
be documented
show examples
 in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of videos for later usage.
Therefore
Linking Words
, allocating
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of financial resources for
technology
Use synonyms
 can
beneficial
Verb problem
be beneficial
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the side which argues that
such
Linking Words
 investments are not financially viable
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 certain considerable perspective.
Firstly
Linking Words
, buying
such
Linking Words
 modern and
hi -tech
Use the right word
high-tech
show examples
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 and media can be expensive. Devices that operate on
technology
Use synonyms
 are usually costlier compared to traditional
books
Use synonyms
 or
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
 because of the components used for
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 manufacturing or operation.
Consequently
Linking Words
, if public
libraries
Use synonyms
 spend their major source of wealth on
such
Linking Words
 high-end products, they will be
deviod
Correct your spelling
deprived
 of resources required to buy
books
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
 of digital sources and software can pose storage issues. To expand on
this
Linking Words
 point, most of the
technological
Replace the word
technologically
show examples
 operated machines and digital media are bulky and huge , requiring more space than
books
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a library decides to install computers for public usage,
extensive
Correct article usage
an extensive
show examples
 amount of space will
required
Verb problem
be required
show examples
 for
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
installments
Replace the word
installation
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
libraries
Use synonyms
 will
obligated
Verb problem
be obligated
show examples
 to
expansion of
Wrong verb form
expand
show examples
their buildings. To
conlcude
Correct your spelling
conclude
,
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
 made
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 software,
Dvds
Use the right word
DVDs
show examples
 or videos by public
libraries
Use synonyms
 can bring a positive change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 acquiring access to visual information.
However
Linking Words
, I completely agree that
speding
Correct your spelling
spending
 money on
technology
Use synonyms
 would
be not
Correct word order
not be
show examples
 effective because of the factors
such
Linking Words
 as reduced affordability and storage inefficiency.

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Task Response
Plan your essay before writing. Decide your main stance and list 2 or 3 main ideas to support it.
Structure
In the body, give one idea per paragraph. Start with a simple sentence that tells the idea, then add a short example or reason.
Structure
Use clear connectors to show how ideas link (and, but, also, for example).
Language
Use simple and exact words. Check spellings and fix common mistakes so your meaning stays clear.
Structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your view and sums up the main points.
Structure
The writer shows a clear view about books being the main focus.
Content
Some good ideas are given about costs and space.
Task Response
The writer mentions both sides, which shows awareness of the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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