IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, a small number of people have extremely high annual incomes. These people should be required to pay a much higher rate of income tax. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Income
Use synonyms
 tax is one of the major
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of
government
Use synonyms
 earnings. The
people
Use synonyms
 who earn much should pay more
income
Use synonyms
taxes
Use synonyms
. I do not totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
the both
Correct word order
both the
show examples
 positive side and
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of implementing
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 rate of
taxes
Use synonyms
 on those
people
Use synonyms
 who
income
Use synonyms
 more. On one hand, if the richest
people
Use synonyms
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more
taxes
Use synonyms
,
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 will have
much
Fix the agreement mistake
more
show examples
 money to invest
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 sectors. More
taxes
Use synonyms
 increase the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 budget. By those extra
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can invest in many sectors
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, health, education, environment, transport and so on. A study done by
oxford
Fix capitalization
Oxford
show examples
 depicts that, if
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
 countries gain more
taxes
Use synonyms
, the growth will be
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
faster.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 picture has
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another side as well. Only
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
 more
taxes
Use synonyms
 from the upper class
people
Use synonyms
 is not enough for
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
a country's
show examples
income
Use synonyms
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 it could lead to illegal
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 as well. If only the
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from
well
Use the right word
well-off
show examples
earning
Check wording
families
show examples
 had to pay more to the
government
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
they will
show examples
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 choose unethical means to avoid
to pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 money. Statistics
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that, in many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 the high
earner
Fix the agreement mistake
earners
show examples
 are more likely to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
 and they follow different wrong
medium
Check wording
means
show examples
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 instance, pay
bribe
Fix the agreement mistake
bribes
show examples
 or
do
Verb problem
donate to
show examples
 fake charities. A study done on Bangladesh
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 more than 50% high
earner
Use the right word
high-earner
show examples
 Bangladeshi pay less
taxes
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 than the year of 2022 to 2023, by using different illegal
medium
Check wording
means
show examples
 because
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 their tax rates.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the idea of
generate
Wrong verb form
generating
show examples
 more country
income
Use synonyms
 from the
people
Use synonyms
whoes
Correct your spelling
whose
income
Use synonyms
 is higher
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not always give positive
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
. In conclusion, there are pros and cons of
rise
Verb problem
raising
show examples
 the tax rate
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
high
Use the right word
high-revenue-generating
show examples
 revenue generated
people
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 money can be implemented in different
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as medical, road and
infrustructures
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 but there might be possibilities of
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
corroptions
Correct your spelling
corruption
.
That is
Linking Words
 the reason I
am
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not totally agree with that statement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response is not fully clear. State your view clearly in the first lines and plan three main ideas. Then give a short, balanced view in each idea.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion need work. Use clear order in each paragraph, group similar idea, and use linking words like in addition, but, for example, and finally.
content
The essay shows a desire to discuss both sides of the issue.
content
There are some simple examples to back points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: