IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people today buy ready-made food rather than spending time cooking. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages of this development outwiegh the disadvantages?

Today we live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 world where
time
Use synonyms
 is so expensive.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 try to
short
Replace the word
shorten
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 the
time
Use synonyms
 they need for various daily tasks. Cooking is one of those things that takes a lot of
time
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
may
Verb problem
could
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 be spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 more useful tasks. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I want to show the pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
’s choice. As I said earlier, those
people
Use synonyms
 who
buys
Correct subject-verb agreement
buy
show examples
ready-
Use the right word
ready food
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food
Use synonyms
 save their
time
Use synonyms
 and energy. Thanks for it productivity increases,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 brings
successes
Fix the agreement mistake
success
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 in work or studying.
Also
Linking Words
, it helps them to have more free
time
Use synonyms
 for hobbies, social life or even for having a good rest after a long working day. Nowadays, when
people
Use synonyms
 are always busy,
this
Linking Words
 way of saving
time
Use synonyms
 looks really reasonable and comfortable. In big cities, where the rhythm of life is fast,
such
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 becomes almost a necessity.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
disadvantages as a damage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s health. Sometimes
this
Linking Words
 ready-made
food
Use synonyms
 can be not fresh, made from poor-quality products and even be cooked or have been kept in bad conditions. Another problem is that it usually contains a lot of salt, sugar and harmful fats. All
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 points may affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your health if you often choose to reduce the
time
Use synonyms
 of cooking.
In addition
Linking Words
, constant use of
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 can cause tiredness or even illnesses in the future. In the end, I would say
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 really should care about their health and realise how important it is to spend
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 tasks that are necessary for the high quality of their life. Sometimes it is better to cook
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 yourself and be sure that the
food
Use synonyms
 you eat is fresh and healthy.

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task response
Show a clear view in the intro and repeat it in the end. Decide if the benefits or the drawbacks are more important and say this plainly.
organization
Add one idea per paragraph. Explain each idea with simple details or small facts.
coherence
Use linking words (for example, first, also, however, in addition) to connect ideas so the reader can follow your thought.
grammar
Check grammar and form. Many phrases sound strange. Use simple and correct sentences.
development
Give a clear example or two to back up your point about health or time saved when using ready-made food.
structure
The essay keeps on topic and has an easy plan: intro, two main ideas, and a closing.
content
There is a view put forward and some reason to back it up.
cohesion
Some useful link words show the flow from idea to idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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