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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts show the sources of electricity produced 4 countries between 2003 and 2008 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featuras. and make comparisons where comparisons where relevant

The charts show the sources of electricity produced 4 countries between 2003 and 2008 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main featuras. and make comparisons where comparisons where relevant
The four pie charts illustrate the sources of
electricity
Use synonyms
 produced in
India
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
,
Morocco
Use synonyms
 and Vietnam between 2003 and 2008. First and foremost,
Morocco
Use synonyms
 had the highest percentage of
hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
 with 95%,
while
Linking Words
India
Use synonyms
 produced most of its
electricity
Use synonyms
 from fossil
Use synonyms
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear that only
India
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 used nuclear
power
Use synonyms
. In detail,
India
Use synonyms
 produced 82% of its
electricity
Use synonyms
 from fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
, 14% from
hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
, and only 4% from nuclear
power
Use synonyms
.
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had a different pattern, with 52% of
electricity
Use synonyms
 coming from
hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
, 44% from nuclear
power
Use synonyms
, and only 4% from fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
.
Morocco
Use synonyms
 mainly depended on
hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
, which made up 95% of its total,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining 5% came from fossil
Use synonyms
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
. Vietnam,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, had a more balanced use of fossil
fuel
Use synonyms
 and
hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
, with 56% and 44% respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
 and Vietnam mostly relied on fossil fuels,
whereas
Linking Words
Morocco
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 produced most of their
electricity
Use synonyms
 from renewable or nuclear sources.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, india, sweden, morocco, hydro, power, fuel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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