IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer shopping in the shopping centre while other prefer local markets.what are the advantage of each and what you prefer?

Consuming is a very crucial part of everyone's life. A number of people like to go to the shopping centres,
while
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 others choose local markets. Choosing the location varies, depending on the individual's choice and the necessity of the product. In
this
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 essay, I will be sharing the benefits of buying
products
Use synonyms
 from both locations,
while
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 explaining my own preference. On the one hand, shopping centres or supermarkets provide you with high-quality
products
Use synonyms
 and a variety of options
within
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one place. There is a huge range of
products
Use synonyms
 from all around the globe to choose from.
For instance
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, imported goods as apple juice from New Zealand can be obtained from the supermarket,
as well as
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 other
products
Use synonyms
 where the quality is of a high standard.
Additionally
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, a fancier environment accommodates the high-class brands, which are required to maintain their reputation when buying expensive gifts.
On the other hand
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,
farmer's
Check wording
farmers'
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 markets or local markets provide you with fresh
products
Use synonyms
 at a very reasonable price. Even though the environment is not luxurious but the
products
Use synonyms
 are homemade. To illustrate it
further
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, a pumpkin pie being sold at the local market is cheap because it is made with the family recipe at home, and it does not require a high labour cost for mass production and transportation costs.
Furthermore
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, prices at the local market
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 very efficient because it is not labour-induced and payment is not vital for labour,
thus
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 people from all age groups can buy stuff that they are interested in.
Overall
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, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
locations have their own benefits when purchasing
products
Use synonyms
 from these locations. My preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 choosing the store depends on the occasion and requirement,
while
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puchasing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
 a
gift
Punctuation problem
gift,
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 I opt to go to the supermarket, but if I want to buy fruits and vegetables, my go-to place is
farmer's
Correct article usage
the farmer's
show examples
 market
due to
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 the freshness and quality of the product.

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task response
Improve task response by making your main ideas very clear: state the two places, say their positives, and then give your own clear preference in a final line.
organization
Use one idea per paragraph and start each with a topic sentence that tells what the paragraph will show.
grammar
Keep grammar simple and check plural and article use.
content
structure
Shows a clear view on the topic and a conclusion that restates the idea.
content
Gives some good examples to show ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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