IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the help of the internet and television, many people are becoming famous. Is it a positive or negative trend? Include examples.

There is no denying the fact that a lot of individuals are coming under the
lam light
Use the right word
limelight
show examples
due to
Linking Words
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of TV and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. I believe it has
many
Fix the agreement mistake
more
show examples
 pros than cons.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delineate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both aspects of
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 statement. There are several reasons to say that
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 an important role in
publicity
Correct article usage
the publicity
show examples
 of many
people
Use synonyms
. The primary one is, presentation of different talents. Many individuals
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 use
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 for content creation as there are multiple platforms
availble
Correct your spelling
available
 to
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 public, which
alow
Use the right word
allow
show examples
 them to
show case
Use the right word
showcase
show examples
 their talent.
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 Beast, for
instace
Correct your spelling
instance
, is one of the biggest and most popular
contant
Correct your spelling
content
creator
Fix the agreement mistake
creators
show examples
 on
Youtube
Use the right word
YouTube
show examples
. He has made many videos on different
topic
Fix the agreement mistake
topics
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are liked by many worldwide, and because of
Linking Words
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 is has become a big celebrity. 
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 usually hype
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 based on their talent, skills, good work, and for providing
knowlede
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to society.
In other words
Linking Words
, the
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
 who
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 under lam light are those who are serving the society in one way or another. TV shows,
for instance
Linking Words
, are a good mode of
entertainmnet
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 for all kinds
age
Change preposition
of age
show examples
 groups.
That is
Linking Words
 how to get
familier
Correct your spelling
familiar
 with the
people
Use synonyms
 performing the role in the shows, and they get to like them.
Besides
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 very helpful to
people
Use synonyms
 who become famous through
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, as they are noticed by many who can give them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career changing
Use the right word
career-changing
show examples
 opportunities.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and television
popularize
Change the spelling
popularise
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 based on their content
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
youtubers
Use the right word
YouTubers
show examples
, TV show
people
Use synonyms
, and social media influencers.
However
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 promote
people
Use synonyms
 who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 for the betterment of society
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as doctors, motivational speakers and
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 so on.

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task
Make your main point clear in the first paragraph and restate it in the end.
coherence
Use simple linking words to connect ideas and keep a clear plan for each paragraph.
grammar
Check spelling and word choice; use common, simple words where you can.
content
The essay gives ideas about how TV and internet may help fame.
examples
An example (Mr. Beast) is used to illustrate a point.
effort
There is an attempt to talk about both sides of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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