IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowadays more and more people are using smartphones and computers to communicate, so they are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

These
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
, people cannot deny using devices,
such
Linking Words
 as
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 or
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 communicate with each other.
However
Linking Words
, people rely on them so much that it
compromise
Correct subject-verb agreement
compromises
show examples
 the ability to talk with their interlocutors. In my opinion, I firmly agree that it could somehow affect the proficiency of
the
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 conversations.
For instance
Linking Words
, if they get used to chatting with their friends online, they could lose common sense in communication. They may
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
soon
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 that they cannot
contreud
Correct your spelling
counter
 the conversation atmosphere. Later, it will affect the work;
espeacially
Correct your spelling
especially
, one who has to use
this
Linking Words
 skill. In conclusion, we cannot avoid conversing through smart devices
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 if we attach to them too much, we will soon lose the ability to talk with people
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
The answer shows the topic and a clear view, but it needs more solid ideas and proof to back the view.
coherence
Link ideas with small steps. Use clear links like first, then, also, but, and, in addition.
content
The idea of how devices can affect talk is clear.
structure
There is a conclusion that restates the idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instantaneous
  • Over-reliance
  • Digital communication
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Body language
  • Verbal communication
  • Social isolation
  • Physical social interactions
  • Sense of loneliness
  • Professional relationships
  • Personal relationships
  • Emotional connections
  • Networking
  • Building rapport
  • Counter-argument
  • Balanced communication
  • Enhanced social bonds
What to do next:
Look at other essays: