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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the average closing prices of selected precious metals from 2013 to 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the average closing prices of selected precious metals from 2013 to 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The
linegraph
Correct your spelling
line graph
 below presents the average closing prices of three precious metals between 2013 and 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
, palladium was the metal with the highest closing
price
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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.
Despite
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Although
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 it was lower than
Gold
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 and
Platinum
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, it surpassed them in the final years. The closing
price
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 of Palladium was around 550 dollars at the start of the
period
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. There was a steady drop to around 500 dollars in 2016. There was a big increase from that point, reaching its peak in 2021 at almost 2500 dollars per
onze
Correct your spelling
ounce
, the
more
Use the right word
most
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 expensive closing
price
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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the three metals represented in the graph. The closing
price
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 of
Gold
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 and the closing
price
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 of
Platinum
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 started at a similar closing
price
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 in 2013, but in the following
years
Add a comma
years,
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 the trend varied.
While
Linking Words
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of
Gold
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 decreased steadily throughout the
period
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, the
price
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 of
Platinum
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 decreased
initially
Linking Words
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 there was a steady increase between 2015 and 2021.
Platinum
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 remained the second expensive closing
price
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 behind Palladium,
while
Linking Words
Gold
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 had the
cheaper
Correct word choice
cheapest
show examples
 closing
price
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 by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words price, period, gold, platinum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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