IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
Two maps illustrate the developments that have happened near the waterfront
area
Use synonyms
, in Darwin's city
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 2009 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,the government has converted the
area
Use synonyms
 into a tourist park with many trees and clean air. In the central
area
Use synonyms
 of the waterfront in 2009, it was considered an industrial zone,
in addition
Linking Words
 to a lake and some trees.
While
Linking Words
, southern parts of the
area
Use synonyms
 were industrial zones with residential buildings near
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Along the river, there was a pair of swimming pools and a fishing
area
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the convention centre and the school were near the lake. Over the period shown, many areas have changed and been demolished. Starting from industrial places
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which were demolished entirely
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 the southern industrial
area
Use synonyms
 was replaced with a natural garden, and more residential infrastructures.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the northern
area
Use synonyms
 was cleared
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and turned into a swimming pool. adjacent to the housing
area
Use synonyms
, the authorities started to build an academic institution.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, a Harbour was built near the river in the southeast of the map.
However
Linking Words
, the academic institution and the convention infrastructure remained unchanged.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: