IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

With the growing population of cities, more and more people live in homes that have little or no outdoor area. Is this a positive or negative development?

As cities keep expanding, a rising number of
people
Use synonyms
 are forced to live in apartments or small homes with barely any outdoor space. Personally, I believe
this
Linking Words
 change brings more harm than good to individuals and society as a whole.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are a few reasonable advantages. Living in compact housing can help solve the issue of urban overcrowding since it allows more
people
Use synonyms
 to live within a smaller area.
This
Linking Words
 can prevent cities from spreading endlessly and protect nature around them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, smaller homes are often more affordable and easier to
make
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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control
of
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, which is convenient for
people
Use synonyms
 who lead fast-paced lives and have little time for gardening labour. TO continue, the downsides clearly outweigh the benefits. One major factor is the lack of connection with nature. Without gardens, balconies, many urban
people
Use synonyms
 rarely experience fresh air or sunlight, which can lead to stress and even depression.
Espessialy
Correct your spelling
Especially
 children
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 miss opportunities to play outside and develop creativity through nature.
Additionally
Linking Words
, living in closed buildings makes city life feel more mechanical and isolating.
People
Use synonyms
 never interact with their
neighbors
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neighbours
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, and the sense of community slowly vanishes. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 small houses without outdoor areas may seem practical in crowded cities, I consider
this
Linking Words
 a negative development
overall
Linking Words
. Losing access to open space might save land, but it quietly takes away something far more valuable
Punctuation problem
,
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our emotional balance and connection to the world around us.

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task response
Be clear on your view in the first line and restate it in the end.
coherence
Make a plan before you write. Use 3 main ideas and keep a simple flow.
language
Fix big errors in grammar and spelling. Check capital letters and stray words.
content
Support each idea with a short example or fact.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph and keep the link words simple.
task response
Your view is clear and you finish with it.
coherence
You show some two sides by giving pros and cons.
coherence
You use a few linking words to help flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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