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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

(Table) The table below gives information related to population growth, average birth per woman, life expectancy at birth in countries with different income levels in 2000 and 2004. Summarise the information making comparisons where relevant.

(Table) The table below gives information related to population growth, average birth per woman, life expectancy at birth in countries with different income levels in 2000 and 2004. Summarise the information making comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates data associated with growth in population , average
birth
Use synonyms
 ber woman and life expectancy in regions with different
income
Use synonyms
 levels in 2000 and 2004 .
Overall
Linking Words
 , all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high and
middle
Use synonyms
 and
low
Use the right word
low-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 saw
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slight changes in the
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 . Both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high and
Use synonyms
middle
Use the right word
middle-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 were similar in the number of
new borns
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newborns
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 ,
high
Use the right word
high-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced
increasing
Wrong verb form
an increase
show examples
 in the
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 . With by + 0.8% in 2002 and less
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one in 2004 .
While
Linking Words
 the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 in
pouplation
Correct your spelling
population
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use the right word
middle-income
show examples
middle
Use synonyms
income
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged in the
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 .
Whereas
Linking Words
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
birth
Use synonyms
 per woman in
high
Use the right word
high-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 was the same in the
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 its in the
middle
Use synonyms
 class
countries
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly by 0.1 in 2004 .
Finally
Linking Words
 , life expectancy at
birth
Use synonyms
 saw a modest growth in high and
Use synonyms
middle
Use the right word
middle-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
. Turning to
low
Use the right word
low-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 , the figures showed a fall by 0.2 % in the population growth and average
Use synonyms
birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
show examples
 per woman .
In contrast
Linking Words
 , the figures revealed a climb in life expectancy by 0.7

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 74%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, income, middle, countries, two, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population growth rate
  • Average birth per woman
  • Life expectancy at birth
  • Income levels
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Correlations
  • Improvements
  • Declines
  • Statistics
  • Comparisons
  • High-income countries
  • Low-income countries
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