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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and of women working in different occupations.

The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and of women working in different occupations.
The provided table illustrates the average weekly
salaries
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 of men and women working in five different departments- technicians, service workers,
professionals
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, administrative or clerical workers, and manual
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
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- in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of average weekly
salaries
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 came from men.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the salary of
professionals
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 is the highest, that of manual
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
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 is the lowest.
However
Linking Words
, with the lowest amount of women working in manual
laborers
Use the right word
labour
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,
professionals
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records
Correct subject-verb agreement
record
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 the highest profit. The salary of men working in different occupations, the highest
Use synonyms
salaries
Fix the agreement mistake
salary
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to
Change preposition
for
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this
Linking Words
 pay of different occupations is
professionals
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, which is 2000
dollars
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 per
week
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,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest contributor
in
Verb problem
is in
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 service work, with only 1300
dollars
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 per
week
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. As for women, the
salaries
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 of
professionals
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the highest, with 1900
dollars
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 per
week
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, which is nearly 2.5 times the lowest income from
manual
Correct article usage
the manual
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laborer
Use the right word
labour
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 department at 850
dollars
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 per
week
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. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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 result, men’s
salaries
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 were higher
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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 women’s pay.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, professionals, dollars, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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